She was tired of correcting her husband's mistakes and his not seeing what was wrong.
Most relationships work because both partners contribute to the relationship in whatever way they can. But what if one person completely depends on the other in all aspects of life? A 34-year-old woman, u/Intrepid_Buy_3152, knows this all too well. In her marriage she felt that she had to shoulder most of the work. After a point, it all got too much for her and she had an outburst during which she ended up insulting her husband. She later wondered if she'd been too harsh.
"I have been with my husband (we'll call him Nathan), for eight years. Ever since our daughter was born three years ago, I have been unable to trust him with anything, no matter how small," she shared. To give some context, the woman wrote, "When I was 19, a semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and turned my car into scrap metal with me inside it. I have enough metal holding me together that I light up like a Christmas tree for TSA and am physically impaired with good days and bad days. I used a portion of my settlement check to buy a house outright and have it retrofitted to accommodate my needs as I'll eventually require a wheelchair. I work in software development as it's fun and nobody cares if I work from bed on bad days."
"My husband has not worked in five years, which was fine until our daughter was born. Between the settlement money, a paid-off house and my salary, I enjoyed having him here with me. He contributed by handling most of the domestics," the wife stated. But things changed drastically after their daughter was born. "For our daughter, he would buy the wrong size diapers. Not fully mixed bottles. Put diapers on backward. Forget to latch cabinets," she wrote. "This past week, he has gone to the store three times because he keeps coming home with the wrong size socks and shoes for her. I eventually just ordered the right ones on Amazon."
"He has repeatedly brought me grapefruit juice to take my medications with - a huge no! He has repeatedly forgotten that I can't have dairy and puts milk in my coffee. Or cheese on a burger," the woman continued. "He has broken SO many things of mine from being careless. He shattered my laptop because it slipped out of his hand when he tried to pack it for a trip. Even after I said I would pack my own electronics." The man continued making mistakes, including damaging two cars in a week. "He wanted to do TikToks and streaming as a hobby. I supported him initially. But I quickly noticed a pattern. Anything regarding our daughter or me, he was sloppy and careless. He never messed up his own stuff. He would build entire sets to stream or make videos with," she pointed out.
Her breaking point came when her husband spent nine hours building a set for filming and she had to clock out early to pick up her daughter from summer camp, cook and get her ready for bed. She told her husband to take the trash out while she got some work done. "I left my office and the house felt really warm. He'd taken the trash out but left our front door partially open. I panicked since our daughter was able to get out of bed and thankfully, she was sound asleep," the woman revealed. "Then I noticed a stove top burner was on. With a small pot on it with nothing inside. I didn't use the stove for cooking that night."
The woman called her husband to have a word with him. "I hit my limit. I started crying. He kept saying that it was fine. Things happen. It's just an accident. He's had a rough day from streaming. He's just tired. Why am I crying? It's just a cup. We can replace it," she expressed. "The anger hit and I said, 'It's because I have a liability and not a partner.'" The couple had a heated argument, after which the man stormed out of the kitchen and started living out of the garage and ordering DoorDash delivery for food. "It's been days and he refuses to be in the same room as me. I've tried messaging him to ask if we can talk. Or figure out a solution. But he's just left me on read. If I pop into the garage, he ignores me but apologizes to his friends or viewers for the interruption and unmutes his mic when the noise stops."
Before their fight, the woman tried asking her husband if something was wrong with him. He just brushed them off as mistakes. "When I tried to get him to understand that it was concerning just how expensive his mistakes were getting, he'd wave it off as an, 'It's not like we can't afford it,'" she revealed. The woman sought answers from the internet. u/AndThenSomeMemoir wrote, "Yes. You don't have one toddler. You have two."
u/fluffyblanket1299 commented, "Agree. He needs to submit to a full medical workup, including blood and drug tests, plus a brain scan. There could very well be something physical causing the forgetful behavior. But if he's fully healthy/clean, he's a piece of s*** husband." u/an_unknown_void remarked, "The whole thing about leaving the door open with a toddler and no reflection over what could have happened seriously concerns me deeply. Does he not realize that children get abducted every day? It is as if he just doesn't care at all about his daughter and wishes this responsibility would just disappear on its own."