Psychologist reveals a surprising parenting tip for raising resilient and creative children

Parenting trends may come and go, but even well-meaning parents can make critical mistakes during their child's formative years. Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, shared insights into parenting that might surprise many. On the "What Now?" podcast with Trevor Noah, Grant revealed that kids who grow up with parents "who regularly disagree constructively can grow up into creative adults."

Grant also penned an essay in the New York Times back in 2017, explaining how these children could become more mentally resilient as well. Being resilient is one of the key core skills a person needs in life to succeed. Grant mentioned in the podcast that arguing with a kid does not have to be about a parent yelling or screaming at them. The idea is to carry on a "productive discussion with your kids" where the parents and their children both can engage in healthy conversations.

"Growing up in a household with productive tension can show children that arguments don't necessarily create lasting conflict and can lead to creative ways of solving problems," Grant continued in the podcast. "Instead of just defaulting or deferring to whatever an authority figure tells you, you realize, 'Well, there are two different authority figures and they don't agree. It can lead to cognitive complexity, but it can also lead to more courage when it comes to challenging the status quo because there's not just one right answer."

Grant also highlighted how constructive disagreements between parents and children foster creativity. "If no one ever argues, you're not likely to give up old ways of doing things, let alone try new ones," Grant wrote in his essay. "Disagreement is the antidote to groupthink. There's no better time than childhood to learn how to dish it out — and take it." In his 2021 book "Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know," Grant stated that a "good debate is not a war." "It's not even a tug-of-war, where you can drag your opponent to your side if you pull hard enough on the rope," Grant wrote in his book. "It's more like a dance that hasn't been choreographed. If you can adapt your moves to hers and get her to do the same, you're more likely to end up in rhythm."

In a related story, a therapist explained another parenting style that could impact kids negatively. Therapist Whitney Goodman (@sitwithit on Instagram) sparked a conversation around a commonly seen toxic parenting behavior. She addressed individuals who grew up in a home where their parents were always in conflict with one another. "You're all looking for safety and trying to find it in different ways, but you'll never be able to achieve the same type of stability you would have felt if your parents had that concrete, stable relationship. Parents do not have to be married to have that safe foundation. They just need to communicate respectfully and not pull kids into the discord," Goodman said.

Goodman acknowledged that parenting is one of the hardest things people can do and deserves empathy, but emphasized something even more important: "What I find is that people have no empathy for kids. People expect kids to act like adults. And then, in my experience, when they become adults, parents look back at their experiences as if they were adults moving through all those life stages the entire time. And the focus is really put back on the parent: 'You don't know how hard it was for me.' 'You'll figure it out when you become a parent.' 'I didn't have money or I didn't have resources,'" she explained in her second video.