20 people share what it feels like to be struggling mentally and what it looks like

Sometimes, it feels like dealing with mental health issues is similar to carrying an invisible weight. One that is excruciatingly heavy but difficult to notice by the outside world. In contrast to physical illnesses, mental discomfort can have subtle symptoms, frequently covered up by a forced smile or brave face. However, there are times when the weight is too much to bear, and little things that don't seem like much can make a big difference. Similarly, when u/Com412 asked people on Reddit, "What screams "I'm not feeling good mentally at all?" People have poured in their hearts.

The post struck an invisible chord with many, sparking a wave of responses from people who recognized these signs in themselves or others. People flooded the thread, sharing their stories, observations and the small but telling behaviors that often go unnoticed but scream for help when pieced together, which serves as a powerful reminder that mental health struggles are more common than we might think and that sometimes, it's the smallest actions that reveal the most. Here are the 20 most poignant responses of those people.

1. Time, but no will

"Speaking from personal experience. Having time to do things you enjoy but doing nothing, not out of laziness, more like a lack of motivation." -u/itcamefromtheimgur

2.  Navigating ADHD recovery

"In my 30s, I dealt with the same thing. It worsened over time. I couldn't read like I used to, play an RPG or do anything new. All roguelikes and multiplayer games that I could easily jump out of. After getting past depression and all that, it ended up being ADHD. After the long process of unpacking that, medication has helped to get me back on track. I'm still adjusting, but I'm accomplishing things that have taken me years to do prior." -u/Maelz03

3. Sleeping away time

"I look forward to the weekends because I’ll have time to do what I enjoy. Then, the weekend gets here and it’s like I can’t motivate myself to do those things and I end up just sleeping the weekend away instead." -u/OneMoreUggadugga

4. Cycle of comfort

"I read something that stuck with me recently and I hope it helps to change my patterns, but- being stuck in an endless cycle of dishes, laundry and housecleaning means being in an endless cycle of clean dishes, comfy clothes and a nice place to be in." -u/dusty_boots

5. Exhausted and overwhelmed

"I am constantly exhausted lately for no reason. I think I'm okay mentally, but clearly I'm not because I'm normally the 'clean my house twice a week' human and I just can't lately. I think it's partially out of frustration as well, which encompasses not being mentally okay. I clean and clean and these two dogs and two cats and man and kid just make messes constantly. I work hard at two jobs and it's just too much. Yes. I am at fault for having two dogs (both puppies 2-years for one and 4 months for the other), two cats, a man and a kid, but holy fuck. And before anyone jumps the gun.. the man is a blessing... any time I just can't, he does it for me... just not to my standard and definitely not mopping, hahaha." -u/Lopsided-Ad4276 

6. Instant shift in mood

"I have friends who turn off in the middle of events and you can tell right away, just an instant loss of enthusiasm even for an event they were excited for and invited me to. In the case of this person, it was after a bad breakup, but they would raincheck me a lot of times due to just not feeling like doing an activity anymore." - u/Bamres

7.  When small talk gets real

"It's very rare for someone to ask, 'How are you?' and actually want a genuine answer about your well-being. It's usually a perfunctory social nicety. It's genuinely startling to feel those emotions well up unexpectedly when someone asks for real." -u/unwarrend

8. Weight of daily stress

"In my experience, it’s the weight of a significantly stressful daily thing that immediately saps my energy each day. So, if it’s your job or someone abusive at your job, etc., that might be it. If you can narrow it down to what you’re dreading, take a vacation away from that thing and see how you feel." -u/DueCaramel7770

9. Changing work dynamics

"For me, it was moving out from under my old boss. I was not doing well mentally for the last 1/2-1/3 of last year. The constant micromanagement and negativity were eating at my confidence and my mood. Once I moved to be under a different person, it changed for the better pretty quickly. It turns out that if you are stressed out for 1/3 of your day, then it tends to mess with your mental health." -u/matingmoose

10.  Cutting back on alcohol

"I cut back on alcohol intake, bought a Kindle and started reading the last hour or two of the day rather than scrolling, kinda weird, but laying out workout clothes for the next morning makes me more likely to work out and more likely to go to bed at a decent time." -u/ZZ77ZZ77ZZ

11. Managing apathy and PTSD

"Apathy is a big one, I think. That's something I am struggling with, for sure. I have PTSD and some other conditions related to the military and I'm finding it impossible to even care about things my girlfriend needs. Nobody is trying to kill us. This stuff isn't important. I struggle to keep track of the days, I disassociate a lot and just zone out, I don't sleep at night, I'm just generally a miserable person, it feels like. I often think everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I don't want to die, per se, but if I was gone somewhere by myself for the rest of my life, I wouldn't burden anyone else with my existence and everyone would be better off. My kids, my ex-wives, my family, everyone." -u/Judoka229

12. Impact on personal grooming

"When hygiene starts taking a hit on someone who is always presentable. Wearing pajama-like outfits or yoga pants/sweats and hoodies in an office setting when it was never part of your outfits for work." -u/Leili-chan

13. Sleeping too much

"Sleeping 22 hours a day and getting up only to not wet the bed. And sometimes you don't even sleep, you just put the covers over your head to block out as much light as possible and stare off into the distance. Your mind does not really form any coherent train of thought, until finally, sleep brings release. If you're lucky, a dream of a time when you weren't in pain. A dream far away from reality, but you aren't lucky. You awake and the sun is setting now, another day gone. Whether you got up or didn't doesn't matter at all."  -u/ktsb

14. Hidden mental health issues

"Headache, stomachache, loss of appetite/overeating, extreme weight loss/gain, loss of previous interests, withdrawal more than usual or even more energy than usual. The last point can often be overlooked. You might think they're having a great day/week, but in reality, it's way worse. They have to work harder to hide it all so people do not try to worry. Check-in with friends/family. There are so many out there that are NOT OK." -u/Catscratchfever3

15. Coping with unheard pain

"I have told three different family members in the past month that I'm disappointed when I wake up in the morning because it feels like I can't make it even one more day. Not in a joking manner, but while sobbing. Their response? Well, just hang in there. Then they all planned a big family photo for this weekend during a time I'm working and can't request time off and told me they'll Photoshop me in. I wondered if they realized I might not be around the next time they have a family photo." - u/judith_escaped

16. How ADHD shapes our thoughts 

"They could be lost in thought about so many other things. I stare blankly with a neutral face all the time, and I’m not thinking about death or suicide. I just have ADHD and get lost in my own thoughts and imagination. A lot of times, I’m thinking about music. If I’m staring blankly, that’s most likely what I’m thinking about." -u/NolanDavisBrown11

17. Emotional withdrawal

"I’m not entirely sure, but it seems like it would be distancing myself from close friends/family out of nowhere for no apparent reason, always seeming distracted and constantly having low energy even when sleeping well." -u/sample_creepy12

18. Struggling to understand and connect

"For me, it’s a lack of understanding of people’s emotions. Like my wife can tell me something in her day that made her angry, but I’m just emotionally numb and for the life of me cannot understand why X thing made her upset. I also lose the will/ability for small talk. Tell me what you want and let’s have that transaction so I can be done interacting with you and return to my headspace. Thankfully, this mindset doesn’t happen often, just when my depression symptoms start." -u/veshWolfe

19. Emotional detachment

"A personal warning sign that I’m not doing well mentally is that I just completely dissociate. I’ve had people tell me how 'laid back and easygoing' I am, but it’s just I literally don’t have it in me to care anymore, so it’s just easier to go with it. No, laughing, crying, getting angry, etc., it’s just 'whatever.' I’m in therapy and learning new coping mechanisms, but some days are harder than others." -u/Aggressive-Foot1960

20. Understanding your limits

"I push myself even though my limits are getting lesser and then a cycle of trying to keep up or make things I have fallen behind on and getting trapped in a cycle of falling short. Typically, when that happens, I have to just stop and take time off, so the key for me is finding out when that is starting and pulling way back off the throttle." -u/Periodic_Disorder