Navigating family relationships and understanding right from wrong can sometimes be difficult and this story is proof of it.
Familial relationships can often be quite confusing, especially when you have some level of ambiguity concerning your parents. However, when and to what extent does that justify and excuse your behavior? In a story posted by u/Special_Ad1555, he spoke about how his nephew and brother decided to disrespect him due to which he withheld the Christmas present he had got for his nephew.
The 28-year-old man began the post by explaining that he was quite younger than most of his siblings, as the age difference he had with the youngest of the remaining siblings was also 12 years, with that brother being 40 years old. This brother had a 16-year-old son whom he had ignored for the better part of his life. When the kid was 4, the brother divorced his wife and quit his job to explore and travel. However, the wife and their son still chose to be involved with the family. It allowed the family to help the mother-son duo as and when they needed it as well. The brother was in town for a while, so the family decided to celebrate early Christmas to include him. However, he had been acting indifferent the whole time.
The man further explains, "In my culture, it is common to refer to your elders as sir or ma'am. My brother heard my nephew refer to me as a sir and brayed out that he didn't need to treat me with respect. I'm barely old enough to dress myself. Blah blah." He even asked his brother to stay out of it, but that didn't help and the brother said that since the topic revolved around his son, it would concern him. Despite everyone asking the brother to knock it off, he wouldn't and by dinnertime, the nephew was calling the man by his name. The man stated, "I told him that we were in public and I expected him to treat me with respect. He said that his father says he doesn't have to, so I asked him if that was who he listened to now. He said yes." So, the man agreed with him that his father was right and that he didn't have to treat the man as an elder.
After dinner came the time to open gifts. That's when the man decided to take all but his nephew's gifts from his car to the house. After the exchange, he could see that his nephew was visibly upset that he didn't get any big gift that year. After a few days, the brother dropped by the man's house and noticed a new toy. On being asked by the brother why he got this toy when he had all the consoles and a gaming computer, he told the truth. Referring to his nephew, he said, "Since I'm not to be respected as an elder, I have zero reason to waste money on him." When the brother tried to guilt him by involving relatives in this, the relatives also rejected the brother. Even his nephew tried to guilt him, but to that, he said, "I said that since he wants to respect his father and not me, he can get his gifts and such from his father." He then went on the internet to ask people what they thought.
The internet mostly sided with the man. u/ChaoticNeutral23 said, "NTA. Your brother sure seems to be one. But it seems to be a difficult situation for your nephew, while he could know better at his age, you could probably cut him some slack when it comes to situations with his mostly absent father." u/Stock_Ad_9172 agreed and said, "NTA. You were told by the father and the child that you were also a child, so you have no responsibility to buy him a gift. Would your nephew buy you one or would he be exempt because of his age? The same rules apply if you're in the same category. He doesn't like it? Then he should respect you as his uncle." u/rebootsaresuchapain said, "NTA. He may only be saying these things because he desperately wants his dad to like and want him, but actions have consequences and he is mature enough to work out who will support him and who is a deadbeat dad."