Man asks girlfriend to set boundaries with male bestie after feeling 'like a third wheel', asks if he's wrong

When someone is in a healthy relationship, they might feel secure enough to let their partner prioritize several things in life. But sometimes, a partner might cross every line and make it difficult for the other person to trust them. A 28-year-old man–who goes by u/Ok-Bandicoot2349 on Reddit–found himself in a similar situation when he started feeling like a "third wheel" in his own relationship because of his girlfriend and her male best friend. The boyfriend shared various scenarios where he felt that his 26-year-old girlfriend, Sarah, prioritized her 27-year-old male best friend, Jake, over him.

The man had been dating Sarah for over a year and always found her relationship with her male best friend a little bothersome. "Jake has been Sarah's 'ride or die' since college, and I knew from the start that they were close. But what I didn't realize was how much it would impact our relationship," the boyfriend began. He did not want to be the person who feels jealous of a platonic friendship, but it reached a point where he started feeling "like a third wheel" in his own relationship. "They hang out multiple times a week – dinners, movie nights, spontaneous late-night drives – and I'm usually not even invited. If I try to join, it's awkward, like I'm crashing their private joke-filled world that I'm not a part of."

The boyfriend tried to let it all go, but things got even more out of line. The "friends" would often call each other by nicknames like "babe" or "sweetheart." He even mentioned that to his girlfriend, but she brushed it off. "Then, that night, I stayed over at her place and woke up at 2 AM to find Sarah on FaceTime with Jake. She was giggling like a schoolgirl, whispering so she wouldn't wake me," the boyfriend continued. He wondered, "Am I just here as background noise while she stays emotionally tethered to this guy?" However, the boyfriend reached the end of his patience when the couple's anniversary weekend came by.

"Sarah and I had been planning a special weekend getaway for our one-year anniversary – something we'd been looking forward to for months," the boyfriend recounted. "But, out of nowhere, Jake invites her to a concert the same weekend. Sarah asked me if we could postpone our anniversary trip so she could go with Jake instead because it's a band they both 'absolutely love.'" The boyfriend was stunned and asked his girlfriend to set some boundaries with Jake. "She blew up at me, calling me 'controlling' and 'insecure.' She even said, 'You knew Jake was part of my life when we started dating. Why are you trying to change me now?'" Even the best friend went ahead and called the boyfriend "toxic." Now, his girlfriend is not talking to him and the boyfriend is wondering if he overreacted.

People in the comments supported the boyfriend. u/DisastrousMachine568 wrote, "You are not losing your mind, their friendship and connection is not a normal friendship behavior when you have a boyfriend. She doesn't prioritize you, she prioritizes him. It is an old saying, 'You should not judge by their words but look at their action.'" u/Consistent-Tip-789 commented, "Even if we pretend Jake is a woman, prioritizing your best friend over an anniversary celebration says it all." u/Honest-Restuarant257 remarked, "Bro they are dating and you are the side piece. She is just waiting till he is serious about dating her point blank and period."