After a Reddit user was told off for celebrating her birthday with an intimate dinner on her nephew's death anniversary, she took to the forum "Am I the As*hole?" to ask if she was in the wrong.
A Reddit user took to the "Am I the As*hole?" forum to ask fellow users if she was in the wrong for celebrating her birthday even though it fell on the same day as the day her nephew died the previous year. Reportedly, user TAMyBDay was criticized by her family for her decision to celebrate her birthday, despite the fact that it was a small affair planned by her girlfriend, unlike the bigger celebrations her family is used to. By and large, most fellow Reddit users agreed that it was not wrong for her to enjoy the surprise planned by her girlfriend, Bored Panda reports.
"My nephew passed away one year ago because of cancer," she explained in her Reddit post. "It was right on my birthday and there was no celebration, there was nothing, because everyone was devastated." At the time, her nephew was only 4 years old. Her sister Denise, the young boy's mother, is still grieving her loss. According to the Reddit user, she is in therapy to process his death. While her family has been trying to support her as much as possible, her progress thus far has been slow. Now, a year later, the Reddit user struggled with managing grief and was feeling "a little down about not being able to celebrate." Importantly, her girlfriend was aware of how sad she was.
She continued, "In the morning, I went to Denise's house, and stayed by her side until almost lunchtime when my mother would stay with her (we did not want to leave her alone, but no one could stay all day). I went to work and at night, my girlfriend made a surprise at home with a candlelight dinner and a small cake. Something very intimate and for both of us, since my family was in a bad way." Her family discovered that she had enjoyed the intimate candlelight dinner when her girlfriend posted a picture of the celebration on Instagram (both her mother and sister follow her girlfriend). The next day, she woke up to hundreds of texts from her mom and Denise, asking if she was celebrating even though "it was such a sad day" and "how heartless she was to celebrate knowing her sister was in such a bad way."
Her family called her cold, heartless and insensitive to the pain of others although she explained it was a surprise. They even claimed she should have refused to celebrate. Before asking if she was wrong, she affirmed, "I was just glad I celebrated because it is something important to me and I did not even realize when my girlfriend posted this photo on Instagram." In the comments section, the majority of users agreed that she was not in the wrong. The top comment read, "You did not make your mom or your sister celebrate with you. It was you and your significant other. Does Denise expect you to NEVER celebrate your birthday again?" Another added, "While I am sure she is heartbroken at the loss of her young nephew, she has a life to live and celebrate while she can which she should be allowed to. None know the date a passing could or will happen just like births unless planned procedure... Happy birthday, hope [you are] blessed with more while keeping [your] nephew's memories alive."