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Woman who suffered miscarriage shares things that no one tells you about losing a baby

Kristen R. Moore said people who suffer miscarriages need support, at home and from the government as it takes a huge toll on the person.

Woman who suffered miscarriage shares things that no one tells you about losing a baby
Image source: Surgeon adjusting glove in operating room - stock photo/Getty images Inset: Twitter/@kristen4moore

Trigger warning: This article discusses miscarriage that some readers may find distressing

Miscarriage is a topic that most avoid. It's considered taboo despite being an everyday reality for so many people. Roughly 10-20% of known pregnancies end in a miscarriage according to Mayo Clinic. So there's a good chance we know someone who has experience or will it experience it at some point in their life and we may never hear about it because no one likes to talk about it. Miscarriage can be incredibly traumatic and that makes it all the more important to raise awareness on the subject and the reality that comes with it. Twitter user Kristen R. Moore suffered a miscarriage and decided to speak openly about the topic and what she went through. The thread proved to be an eye-opener and spurred many others to share their own experiences on miscarriages. 

Portrait of sad woman - stock photo/Getty Images




Here is Kristen R. Moore's thread: 

1. Dehydrated marathon



2. Grief and loss of miscarriage


3. There is medication to help miscarriage along 


4.  Miscarriage management is 'off books'


5. The medicinal information warns about miscarriage


6. Pregnancy can feel like a tight rope walk


7. Miscarriage is so lonely


8. You're conflicted


9. Grief is real for non-birthing parents too


10. The weight stays on after miscarriage


11. No one knows how to talk about miscarriage


Teenage mother with depression - stock photo/Getty Images

12. What not to say


13. Support is everything


14. Expensive and painful


As Moore explained, miscarriage is not a one-time event and can have long-lasting effects, that require support from loved ones and from their workplace. The financial aspect also highlights how important it is to have affordable healthcare. Kristen herself said one of the reasons she wrote the thread was because of the $1200 bill that she was handed. "We have enough money to incur a surprise bill like that now. But a few years ago, that would have really sent us into a financial tailspin," she told Buzzfeed News. Kristen, who hails from New York, has one child who was conceived via IVF. She learned the fetus didn't have a heartbeat after 12 weeks. She believes those who suffer miscarriages need more support. "I believe we should implement comprehensive healthcare reform, especially for women. That healthcare reform should include post-miscarriage support, including time off after birth and miscarriage, therapists/doula support, and a more holistic approach to training medical professionals dealing with this kind of loss," she said.


Many who read Kristen's thread shared their own experiences with miscarriage. "Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm sorry for your loss. It's been 10 years and I can still hear my wife's cries in the middle of the night after our first (of many) miscarriages. She was subsequently told repeatedly to be thankful it happened as early as 8 weeks," wrote one Twitter user. Another commented, "My heart breaks with you and I am sending you so much love. I experienced one in April — I ended up having to do a D&C (Dilation and curettage, a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus) and it was the loneliest, hardest grieving experience I’ve ever been through. Talking to others who went through it helped me a lot. I’m so sorry for your loss." Many said they could recognize their own experiences in her thread. "Also, totally agree with feeling awful with some of the stupid stuff people say — it can make you feel crazy. Journaling helped me a lot. you mentioned wanting to scream - yes - screaming and wailing - I did this into my pillow and often. it helped release pain," wrote one person.



World Health Organization states it's important to talk about miscarriage. "It takes an enormous toll on women. Many women who lose a baby in pregnancy can go on to develop mental health issues that last for months or years– even when they have gone on to have healthy babies," states their website. "Cultural and societal attitudes to losing a baby can vary tremendously around the globe. In sub-Saharan Africa, a common belief is that a baby might be stillborn because of witchcraft or evil spirits."

Friends hugging. - stock photo/Getty Images



Those who need support following a miscarriage can call American pregnancy support at 1-800-672-2296.

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