People rally around woman who dumped her boyfriend because he didn't finalize his divorce

Most people enter relationships with specific expectations or discover what they want over time. Some issues can become major deal breakers, forcing even a solid relationship to end. That’s what happened to a woman, u/Ok-Operation-3799, who faced a dilemma when her boyfriend refused to finalize his divorce despite being in a long-term relationship with her. Frustrated, she turned to Reddit for advice.

"I met my boyfriend, Dave, about 2.5 years ago. He had been separated from his ex-wife for about a year when we met," the 39-year-old shared. "They have three kids. I have met his ex, who now has a new baby with another guy, many times," she added. The woman has asked her boyfriend why doesn't he finalize his divorce quite a few times. "He said that divorces are costly and neither of them plans to get married again, so why bother? He mentioned (jokingly) that he would finalize his divorce when he proposed to me," the woman revealed. Things are otherwise great between the couple and the man's kids love the girlfriend.

"I understand they are co-parenting, but I can’t help feeling like a third wheel. His ex is at our place all the time and she and her baby are part of every vacation we’ve ever taken with the kids," the woman disclosed. "I told him this is so uncomfortable because it feels like they have an open marriage and I’m part of whatever that is." The boyfriend assured her that it was not an open marriage and they were truly done with each other. "I told him then to cut the cord," the woman expressed. But despite having communicated that he was done with the marriage, he refused to do that. She eventually ended things with him because of that.

"Now he keeps texting me, saying I’m being ridiculous. Am I? Am I too old-fashioned? Is this really part of co-parenting? He says divorce and separation are not different," the woman wondered. People took to the comments section to reassure her that she made the right decision. u/BlazingSunflowerland wrote, "She can't expect him to marry her if he is still married. I think it is easy for him to let it slide because it stops him from having to split assets and it prevents her from expecting marriage. He is using this situation like a shield." Another user felt, "He’s avoiding commitment and responsibility, keeping everyone in limbo. Classic deflection."

u/Wonderful_Horror7315 remarked, "When I met my husband, he had been separated for over a year. Divorce papers had been filed, but they had not gone to court to finalize it. About three months in, I told him I was not comfortable dating a married man regardless of how long they’d lived apart. He was officially divorced within two months. I was right to issue my soft ultimatum because his 'best friend/ex' started showing her true colors after that. She wanted to be free to do whatever she wanted (which is why she initiated the divorce), but still have him in her back pocket for emergencies." 

u/HopefulOriginal5578 commented, "All too common. He’s kinda got things the best he will get them as a divorcing man (if he’s not super serious about getting married). He’s got the ease of not having to finalize things (where it gets real), a girlfriend he can string along, and a built-in excuse!"