Comedian's astronaut application spawns witty rejection letter from 'NASA' and we're in stitches

Daydreaming about achieving something completely out of reach is a fun and harmless fantasy for many. Comedian and writer Alex Falcone attempted to get ahold of one such far-reaching dream and was left with a hilarious story for the ages. In his Medium blog, "The Weekly Weep," Falcone wrote about the rib-tickling "NASA Rejection Letter" he allegedly received after he applied to be an astronaut. Every four years, NASA opens the door for thousands of applicants trying to get into the class of astronauts. The comedian supposedly wanted to see if he would get into the class of 2021.

The letter kicked off with the classic line, "We regret to inform you that your application to our Astronaut candidate program does not meet our stated qualifications." But what came next was absolute fun. Firstly, Falcone's mention of "have seen Masters of the Universe and think that should count" in the section where the agency expected a "Master's degree" was highlighted. "To be generous, we looked over your provided transcripts and it seems you haven't taken a science class since 10th-grade chemistry, in which you received a C+. You even took the time to note that your teacher that year was an idiot and that doesn't help your case with us," the response reportedly stated.

In the place of "relevant skills," Falcone said he "enjoyed the scene in Apollo 13 where they 'made a fu**ed up air filter out of socks'" and added that he liked "space Legos almost as much as the pirate Legos." His preference for pirate Legos over space ones got the response, "That doesn't make sense. Perhaps you can apply to be a pirate." Then, it was pointed out that Falcone took a dig at the other "nerds" who were applying. "The application was precisely to show us why we should hire you and also, the very people who are reading this are 'those nerds,'" the letter read. It also warned the comedian not to mention "have always wanted to poop into a vacuum cleaner" in future job applications.

The "recruiters" didn't find Falcone's "always sit in the front seat because I get a little motion sick" confident enough for a pilot. They also quipped at his obsession with food. "You used a whole section to order food? Seriously?" they asked. "NOTE: I have been instructed to notify you that we do carry 'astronaut ice cream' in all our gift shops AND ONLINE. Since that was '90% of the reason' you're applying, perhaps you can satisfy yourself that way," the letter added. Then came the generous clarifications for Falcone's cheeky questions about the organization. "No, astronauts do not currently get a 'plus one' to the moon. Yes, you would be required to notify your wife if you were going to the moon. I'm sorry she 'is a worrier,'" the list began.

The comedian's request for "no meetings before noon" and his suggestions for a new name for the space agency, including "Space Ninjas," were denied. "We have no idea what you mean by 'Does riding a rocket feel similar to riding a washing machine?' Sorry," "Yes, we are sure there is only one moon," and "No, we would not be personally hurt if you apply to the Russian space program at the same time. Good luck with that" were some of the clarifications. In the end, the "recruiters" emphasized that they would appreciate it if Falcone didn't apply again. "We hope your passion for the industry finds a good (and safe) outlet," the letter ended. Apparently, this hilarious letter was written as a joke by Falcone himself, he revealed to Bored Panda. Lucky for NASA, they didn't have to go through the pain of reading his application!