24 honest and hilarious tweets about marriage that are so relatable
One tweet reads, 'Some couples exercise together. My wife and I send each other articles when we're sitting in the same room.'
Editor's note: This article was originally published on March 9, 2023. It has since been updated.
Every couple is different and so is their marriage. Everyone has their own share of adjustments, disappointments and good times. However, some situations are similar and relatable among couples, like the way husbands leave things around in the house, how wives expect an apology for things their husbands did in their dream, or how women are unable to have any self-care time for themselves. People have shared such hilarious things about marriages in their tweets, as reported by BuzzFeed. One of the tweets read, "Why would I need a haunted house when I can just open the dishwasher and see how my husband arranged the dishes?" Another reads, "When I'm mad at my husband, I go to Target and spend money. When I'm really mad at my husband, I still go to Target and spend money but I take his remote with me."
Most of these tweets have hundreds of likes and re-tweets. We have put together 24 of the best tweets that are sure to make you laugh.
1. Let's argue
Get married so you can argue over who had a worse night sleep.
— Karen (@AntsyButterfly) September 22, 2022
2. True that!
One of the perks of marriage is having someone around to let you know which normal things from your childhood were actually very very weird
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) September 15, 2022
3. Or maybe the cupboard?
Why would I need a haunted house when I can just open the dishwasher and see how my husband arranged the dishes
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 13, 2022
4. Great talk!
40% of my wife and I's conversations go like this:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2022
me: what?
wife: i was talking to the dog
5. Say cheese
First came love. Then came marriage. Then came pic.twitter.com/45bQAM4ju2
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 9, 2022
6. Well-described
Marriage is sometimes apologizing for stuff you did in your wife's dream
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) September 18, 2022
7. "Everything is weird"
Me: Is it weird that I-
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 7, 2022
Wife: Yes.
Me: You didn't let me finish.
Wife: Everything you do is weird.
8. Lol
Marriage is telling your spouse you heard about a cool new restaurant on a Monday only for them to repeat to you on a Friday “there’s this cool new restaurant I just heard about”
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) October 13, 2022
9. Shut up!
How dare my husband interrupt the story I decided to tell in the middle of his story
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) September 29, 2022
10. That's marriage
Some couples exercise together.My wife and I send each other articles when we're sitting in the same room.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 7, 2022
11. Better luck next time
I like to send love notes in my husband's lunch like SORRY THE BREAD IS STALE MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SEAL IT BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) September 13, 2022
12. Danger alert
me, about to ask my wife about her day pic.twitter.com/J3ckyd9au8
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) September 19, 2022
13. Who did that?
Husband: How’s your diet going? Me: *sucking the jelly out of a doughnut with a straw and putting it back in the box so no one knows I did it* Great!
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) September 27, 2022
14. Hi Derp!
Please take a moment out of your day to admire this pumpkin my wife carved. His name is Derp. pic.twitter.com/S7fVn8PUnV
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 18, 2022
15. Scary
I tried to say something supportive to my husband but it only freaked him out
— Midge (@mxmclain) October 18, 2022
16. One more plz?
I tried to say something supportive to my husband but it only freaked him out
— Midge (@mxmclain) October 18, 2022
17. Self-care = fries
Therapist: have you found time for self care this week?
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 18, 2022
Me: I ate the fries out of my husband’s order while driving home alone with dinner.
Therapist: *nods approvingly*
18. Win-win
When I'm mad at my husband, I go to target and spend money. When I'm really mad at my husband, I still go to target and spend money but I take his remote with me.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) October 20, 2022
19. Trick question
I just asked my husband how much he loves me on a scale of one to ten and he said, without hesitation, “the usual. An 8.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) September 24, 2022
??????????
20. "That's where snacks live"
My husband accused me of hiding the good snacks. They were in the snack cupboard. Where snacks live.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 18, 2022
21. Noted.
Marriage involves a lot more shouting “I’M IN THE BATHROOM” than I originally thought.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 19, 2022
22. What's mine is yours (phone too)
Pillow talk when you’re married in your 40s is whispering things like “when I die, if you need access to the accounts, just hold my phone up to my dead face”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 5, 2022
23. Progress it is!
Wife: Did you do anything on the to-do list?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2022
Me: No, but I also didn't add anything new to it.
Wife: So you broke even?
Me: I call that progress.
24. She has a point
It’s amusing that my husband doesn’t want me touching his new MacBook Pro because he thinks I’ll drop it, but he’s totally cool with me picking up our kids.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) October 19, 2022
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