Mom sincerely apologizes to daughter for her 'bad parenting moments' and it is incredibly cathartic

Parenting can be a challenging task. While most parents mean well and have the best intentions, they can make mistakes, sometimes unwittingly hurting their children. But, parents can tactfully acknowledge their own mistakes to teach kids about the importance of accountability and making amends. When a parent apologizes to their child, it goes a long way toward healing old wounds and improving their relationship.

The TikTok account The Beaver Family (@lovebeav) often shares funny incidents from their daily lives on the platform. But recently, they posted a video of the family matriarch apologizing to her daughter for something she'd done years ago. The video soon went viral, gaining over 2 million views and 229.3k likes on TikTok. In the video, we get to see the mother brushing her hair and looking visibly uncomfortable. Seeing her mother's face, the daughter inquires, "Now you know how I felt when you brushed my hair?"

The mother replies that she is aware of how difficult it was for her daughter to get her hair brushed. She immediately apologizes to her for getting mad at her for screaming from the pain. According to her, the "sound of a child screaming" made her feel angry and she took it out on the daughter. "I was angry at myself... but I took it out on you," she says. "I really owe you like a 1000 apologies for the way I brushed your hair."

The mom then tells her daughter that her grandmother used to "journal about it." She wrote how the girl would scream while getting her hair brushed and the mother would get mad and yell at her. The mother felt very bad and expressed her remorse over the entire incident. Reflecting on it, she said, "Poor kid. I just always felt like I was a failure as a parent when I was brushing your hair."

The mother mentions that she actually made the situation worse by getting mad at her. She concludes by saying, "[I had] bad parenting moments." Even though the mother's parenting style had a few faults, her efforts to admit to her mistake and apologize would have a drastic impact on her daughter. People on the platform expressed their appreciation for the mother's honest apology in the comments section.

@loreolympusnerd commented, "Our poor mothers were so overstimulated and overworked and unsupported. She's so real for this." @lisa__jean said, "This is it. This is all we want. We don't ask for perfect parents. We don't expect perfect parents." 

@ahtok77 pointed out, "Taking accountability and genuinely recognizing your trauma around her actions is so validating. Nice to see. Wish more moms were this way." @everyonelovesmandii said, "Accountability accepted right there."

In case parents are wondering how to get their kids to listen to them, Tia Slightman (@parentingcoach) has some useful advice. She frequently talks about different parenting styles and techniques on her account. According to her, parents should focus on establishing firm boundaries with their children. Slightman reasoned that kids were born with an inherent need to test their limits till they reached a breaking point. 

In most cases, this breaking point involves their parents yelling at them. Parents always ask their kids very nicely until they push too hard and end up getting yelled at to stop whatever they are doing. So, it becomes a pattern where kids are conditioned to believe that they have to be yelled at to listen to their parents. The solution for parents is to establish "concrete, clear and consistent" boundaries without yelling at them. She mentions that setting boundaries is a learned skill, so parents have to introspect and adapt to changing situations. Many parents on the platform found her suggestions helpful.