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'Messy Mama' shares the honest and vulnerable reality of a house with four young kids

She explained that sharing the reality of her messy house with the world helps her hold herself accountable.

'Messy Mama' shares the honest and vulnerable reality of a house with four young kids
Cover Image Source: TikTok/themessymama4

A Georgia mom is going viral online by sharing videos of how messy her house gets with four children under the age of 8. Amid the scores of social media posts of moms in their all-white sheets sipping their morning coffee without a hair out of place, Brianna James is a breath of fresh air. Unlike the carefully curated and aesthetically staged content shared by most influencer moms, James shares the real, honest and vulnerable reality of how easily the house can get into a state of disarray while juggling the ups and downs of parenthood.


@themessymama4

my accountability check to see if I can clean my dining room and kitchen 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 it's bad I know

♬ Oh No - Kreepa

 

James, who now has 97,400 followers on TikTok, first went viral on the platform back in December when she posted a video showing the state of her dining room and kitchen after the entire family was sick for five days. "It's bad I know," she wrote as part of the caption. To her surprise, the clip started getting a lot more attention than her usual posts as many people applauded—and others condemned—the mom. The video has gained more than 5 million views in the eight months since being posted. However, another video she posted two months later quickly surpassed the reach of the previous one with nearly 18 million views.


@themessymama4

I will block those who are mean. this is to keep me accountable not for views.

♬ original sound - themessymama4

 

"I know I'm going to get roasted. I know it, but this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves because, yeah, it's a mess," James says in the video. "Four days, guys. I've not done dishes or picked things up for four days and this is what my house looks like. It is not dirty—it is simply messy. OK? And, so, that's what I'm gonna do today." While most of her videos do receive a fair share of criticism from some internet users, many share that her vulnerability helps them feel seen. "This is comforting. This is NORMAL," wrote one while another added: "We've all been there momma don't even stress over it."


@themessymama4

now I have to do the living room 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

♬ You Problem - MONSTA X

 

Speaking to Good Morning America, James explained that she doesn't shy away from sharing her messy house videos with the world simply because it helps her hold herself accountable. "I want people who may not be in my shoes to understand that it's normal in a way as long as you know you're not going to live with it. And then also to show people who are in my shoes, that they're not alone," the 31-year-old said. James, who lives in southern Georgia with her husband, Craig, and four kids added that she was tired of trying to hide her real life and wanted to be transparent about what it's really like for them.


@themessymama4

wall this was already like 50% picked up before I started filming 🤣 it was so much worse lol but now it's nice and clean and even the windows are washed! BONUS!

♬ original sound - themessymama4

 

"I'm trying to be honest and real and show that it's OK to not get it all done and it's OK to let some things go and focus on yourself and make yourself healthy," she said. "I'm also trying to think like, well, I could clean 24/7, seven days a week and then I miss out on the time with my kids, or I could let the dishes go for a day or not take the trash out that night and then play dominos or something with my kids or hide and seek. So I'm trying to balance that." James clarified that although she does clean her home, at least one part of the house always still tends to be messy.



 

"It's a mix," she said. "One room will be perfect and I feel really great and then I'll go upstairs and I'll be like ugh because it's never-ending." As for what works for her with getting her chores done and dusted, said James, is sticking to a routine. This includes posting the before-and-after-cleaning videos on TikTok. "I will try to do my daily thing and then depending on how my mood is feeling with my mental health stuff, I will try to do like one extra project," she explained. "I recently changed my mindset where instead of me working for my house, and it's constant, I am now making my house work for me. And so I'm watching it and I'm like, OK, if you're not working for me, I'm going to change you."



 

James, who revealed that she lives with anxiety and was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, said she used to mentally beat herself up for not getting her tasks done immediately or not making everything perfect. "Now, I'm trying to normalize the fact that it's OK if it doesn't all get done but as long as some of it gets done, then I can be happy and proud of myself and give myself that praise that I got that done. And I have a really hard time doing that so I just literally go day by day," she said. "I think that's what is more relatable than just me being messy and then cleaning it up is why I'm messy and how I'm going about it and how I'm trying to change for the better."

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