'If you want to be a partner, please be a partner. If you want to be in a relationship, please give benefit to someone.'
Many women are choosing to stay single nowadays. Have they raised their standards too high for heterosexual men to achieve, or are they simply done with accepting below the basic requirement of being a good partner? Raela (@hey.raela), a TikTok user, has sparked some debate with a video explaining why there appear to be so many single women out there these days.
The simple answer is it seems that way because it is that way — recent studies have found that the number of people living without a spouse or other romantic partner has been rising for decades. According to the Pew Research Centre, the proportion of "unpartnered" adults in 2019 was around 38 percent, up from 29 percent in 1990. But why is this occurring? Raela explains that this is simply because women around the world have raised their expectations of the men who want to live with them.
Her viral TikTok video has garnered over 1.1 million views and 114.3k likes. It is captioned, "I don't need another adult child to raise. Go back to your mom's basement." In light of the concern about declining birth rates in some areas, most conservatives may believe this trend heralds the end of times. Despite their desperate efforts to keep women subjugated by outdated rules that only made them miserable so that men could sit back with their feet up while women did all the work related to home and children, women are increasingly finding the single life to be just fine.
"Here's a lovely little PSA that nobody asked for," she begins. "You wonder why the divorce rates are so high? You wonder why there are so many women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are not in relationships or are not getting married just because they don’t want to? Or why there are so many single moms in the world right now?" "It's very easy, very simple," says Raela. "Women are not accepting the bare minimum. If you want to be a partner, please be a partner, if you want to be in a relationship, please give benefit to someone. I can pay my own bills, I can make my own food, I can raise my own kids. I understand you're tired at the end of the work day, but so am I. But guess what. Someone has to do the laundry, someone has to make dinner and someone has to watch the kids. If you're not going to do that with someone, then just don't do it because we can do it all ourselves. And we have a lot less socks to turn right-side-in in the laundry." Raela disabled comments on this video, but you can find other TikToks with opinions on the subject.
A few days ago, a male divorce lawyer, Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. (@drvlaw), posted a video in which he stated that men who expect their wives to do all the work are a major factor in the cases that come to him. "I am seeing working moms doing it all," says Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. "And I am seeing the husbands step back and say, 'Huh, I don't gotta do a thing! She's got the kids, she's got the groceries, she's got the laundry, she's got the meals, she's got the work. And by the way, she's making all the money, and she's paying for the house, and doing everything else. I'm going to go to the firehouse, I'm going to go play this, I'm going to go hang out with my friends.'"
We presume that this situation can be understood by some conservatives as simply gatekeeping women from making money so men can provide all the financial privilege and see a solution in this. "That's the theme. And women are tired."