20 hysterical parenting tweets that every parent out there can relate to
Do you find yourself on the verge of tears every time you clean the house only to find it is littered all over again?
Parenting is a tough job, undeniably. You might find celebrities or even your friends saying how beautiful of a feeling it is to be a parent. The reality, however, is far from the truth. To be a parent takes nerves of steel. For the most part, you are either running on low sleep or surviving on that last cup of coffee. Parents don't like to admit it, but not every day is filled with familial delights. And, if someone tells you otherwise, they are lying. The everyday grinding to ensure that your child grows up to be a good human being takes a lot of effort. As mundane and dull as it sounds, you don't have to be serious all the time. Squeezing out a good laugh now and then will only be beneficial, not harmful.
Do you ever feel energetic and alive when you finally get the house all to yourselves? Do you find yourself on the verge of tears every time you clean the house only to find it is littered all over again? Do you feel like you have achieved the unachievable after you managed to put your kids to bed? If you have silently nodded a 'yes' to all the questions above, then here is a list of tweets that will act as a soothing ointment to treat your battle scars from parenting. Moreover, it will make you understand that you are only a human, just like your kids. You cannot always have control over everything and it is okay. All you need to know is that you are trying to do your best.
1. Parenting glow-up
Me before and after kids pic.twitter.com/FdDeg3mYOP
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) November 10, 2022
2. Is that ketchup or is it blood?
Parenthood is walking around your house mumbling “what the fuck is that” over and over
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 4, 2022
3. 'Sorry for existing'
before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 8, 2022
4. I do not deserve this, mom
Thoughts and prayers for my 12-year-old.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2022
I asked her to replace the toilet paper roll and now she's now in tears because she has to do everything around here.
5. Emotional damage
my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022
im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that
6. So worth it
My teen- *with a mouthful of burger and fries* Must be nice to be an adult and do whatever you want
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 3, 2022
Me- *picking at my salad and holding the bill*- Yeah, it’s been a real treat
7. Both?
My twins learned some new adjectives at school today and are currently arguing about whether the dinner I cooked is abominable or diabolical
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) November 14, 2022
8. Unsung heroes
Welcome to parenthood. You have way more shit to do, and way less time to do it in.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 5, 2022
9. Those are some exquisite flavors
7 called the dinner my wife made tonight "prison food". Visitation will be from 1-3 this Friday with a memorial service immediately after.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 10, 2022
10. How'd you like that, Karen?
My toddler has been throwing things, so I bought him a book about managing emotions, which he picked up and threw at me.
— kidversations (@kidversations_) November 5, 2022
11. Let me just lie dow-
12. Bigger win than the lottery
I’ve never won the lottery but I once made a dinner that all three kids enjoyed at the same time
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 15, 2022
13. Drizzle some chocolate on top
5: please can I have an apple
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) November 8, 2022
Me: sure *gives apple*
5: oh dear
Me: what’s up
5: I can’t eat that apple
Me: why not
5: it’s not a donut
14. 'It just felt like a good in my head'
Hubs: I’ve decided I don’t want to have children.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) November 15, 2022
Me: You’re about 9 years too late.
15. Thank you, next
Kids should come with a “skip intro” button for their stories
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 8, 2022
16. Don't we all?
8-year-old: We had a a substitute bus driver.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 15, 2022
Me: How'd that go?
8: Bad. I was hoping she didn't know the way to school.
17. What are you drinking, mom?
My kids and I play this fun game where I wake up early to enjoy a coffee alone and they wake up earlier to make sure that I don’t
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 2, 2022
18. Famous last words:
we heard a loud beep in McDonald's and my daughter asked if it was their ice cream machine flatlining
— 🌜🤷♂️Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) November 15, 2022
19. It is always the grandparents
My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups of strangers have to get our 3 kids under age 5 dressed and out of the room in one hour
— The Dad (@thedad) November 11, 2022
20. Priorities
I told my toddler that she could only pack the essentials so she filled two suitcases, one with socks and the other with stuffed animals
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 11, 2022
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