Women reveal 15 'money lessons' they learned in life — often the hard way

What's harder than earning money? Well, most say it's putting it to proper use, and yet most don't know how to do that! However, when u/late_flamingo_1138 asked women on the r/askwomen subreddit, "What’s the hardest money lesson you’ve learned so far?" the response was just what we all needed to know!

1. Keep your credit separate, ALWAYS

"Never ever (ever ever ever!) co-sign anything for anyone. Not your spouse, not your parent, not your relative, not your child. No one. I made this mistake twice. The first time it caused me a delay in buying a house. The second time it resulted in me paying over $30,000 for a car that was worth $14,000 when it was new. When I tell people this (that I’d never co-sign anything again), they always say, 'What about your kids?' Nope. I’d loan my children money or buy them a car, but I’d never cosign anything for them." - u/greenmountain85

2. Calculate ROI before joining graduate school

"Don’t go to graduate school unless you are absolutely sure you want the career it will lead to and you will be able to get a job in that field that will pay you enough to compensate for how much graduate school costs (particularly if you have to pay back loans)." - u/spuriousantics

3. Discuss money before marrying someone

"That you should never marry someone with different financial ideals and goals than yourself. You likely cannot change how they view money, and your marriage will suffer. Also, divorce is expensive." - u/frannywillow

4. Never lend money to a romantic partner

"Never EVER lend money to a romantic partner. When the relationship ends, you can say goodbye to seeing that money ever again. If you do lend money, do it as a ‘gift,’ but don’t expect anything in return. Also, choose your romantic partner wisely. Especially if you consider a future with them, look at their financial habits." - u/777mvm

5. Credit cards aren't free money

"Credit cards are not free money. I learned that the hard way in college when I just kept swiping and only paid the minimum. The interest adds up fast, and it took me years to pay off a pretty small balance. Now, I just use them for stuff I can actually pay off right away." - u/blondecra

"When I was in college and in my early 20s, I had several credit cards that I ran all the way up to their limits. I briefly had a high-paying job, which I left because my bosses were unethical. I took a lower-paying job that I was much happier at, but then I was saddled with terrible debt and could no longer afford to even make minimum payments. I was getting nine calls a day from credit card companies looking for their money. It was terrible. I never wanted to pick up my phone. It took me five years to dig myself out of all that." - u/hotspiceteahoneybee

6. Start investing early

"Take full advantage of as many tax breaks as possible as EARLY as possible. If you can contribute $28,000 to your retirement account every year, do it now! Invest as much as possible now so you can age comfortably without the stress and retire with confidence. As soon as you get that first 9-5 job, max out your HSA, max out your Roth IRA, and max out everything!" - u/lainabaina

7. Say 'No' to impulsive buys

"The hardest money lesson I’ve learned? Definitely, just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you should buy it. Like, I used to see extra money in my account and immediately think, 'Oh, cool, treat time!' Nope. That’s how I ended up eating cereal for dinner for a week once." - u/Nuxanatur

8. Don't share your assets with anyone

"Don't ever talk about how much money you have with anyone, including family. Money changes people, especially when they know you have it." - u/midnightfirehuntress

9. It's okay to say no

"It’s okay to say no when someone asks you to loan them money. I have the hardest time saying no to friends and family, and have an even harder time asking them to pay me back… my own problem, I realize. Now? I just say, 'I’m sorry, I don’t have any money I can loan you.' Not flaunting that you have it also helps. Although I don’t, and I used to get asked all the time." - u/marsadventures

10. Don't let people borrow money under your name

"Don't let someone borrow money under your name (using your credit cards), even if they promise to pay you back. They never do, and they'll make you the bad guy for asking or bringing it up. Even if that person is 'family' in some way. Just don't do it. And if you're considering getting married, make sure your partner is on the same page as you financially." - u/arrozygandules

11. Don't count your chickens before they hatch

"It's not necessarily always 'going to be ok.' Also, DON'T SPEND MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE! I have a terrible tendency to count on money I 'know' is coming in. I've learned the hard way to not think of it as my money until it's in my bank account and my bills are paid." - u/apocalypsmeow

12. Make your own money

"Make your own money. Even if you meet someone wealthy who pays the bills, being able to say 'f**k off' is priceless. - u/objective-amount1379

13. It's okay to spend money

"That it's ok to spend money. I grew up poor, like electricity was off, sometimes poor, and now with my fiancé, who loves to spoil me, it's so hard for me to let him spend money on me. He can buy me a Coke, and I'm like, 'But it's $3.' I'm constantly asking him, 'Is this ok?' when I get something, and he's like, 'Baby, just get it. It's fine. Money comes, money goes.'" - u/nicodadorf

14. Trust your bank

"If your bank tells you it's a suspicious account and refuses to send your wire transfer, TRUST THEM! You are susceptible to romance scams. Source: I'm a banker." - u/darksansa1124

15. Don't buy a car

"Absolutely regret buying a new car. It’s paid off now, but the thousands of dollars I put there I could have put towards investing and/or paying off my student debt faster." - u/blissbalance

Ultimately, 'savings' comes down to discipline — the capability to 'hold off' on making impulsive purchases, or wasting cash on things you don't absolutely require. A cultural shift has to take place in order to shift customers' minds off fast distractions and dopamine hits. Even advertisements play into this increased spending habit by funneling targeted ads flaunting ridiculous 'discounts'. Saving money today involves being mindful everywhere, even while you're doomscrolling all through the night.

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