Women who have gone through pregnancy share things they wish they had more knowledge about before welcoming their child into this world.
Pregnancy alters a woman in one way or another. Its physical and emotional repercussions leave a deep impact on them. Also, after giving birth, they have a person in their life whose well-being becomes their responsibility. At least for the first few years, the children depend completely on them. Even though women would love nothing more than to be prepared for the changes pregnancy brings in their lives, the experience is hard to understand without being in it. No one can express what mothers feel after seeing their child for the first time or the dread that comes after that. It was evident with the answers to the question posed by u/Justkeepitanonymous, "What is something you wished you knew before your pregnancy but you found out the hard way?" The responses covered everything, from frustration to joy that women feel because of this experience. Here are the top 10 responses.
From the day you find out you're pregnant, you will never stop worrying. Whether you have bad pregnancy symptoms or not, your brain is on overdrive. Every kick, twinge, ache, etc., will make you worry and then all of a sudden, your symptoms subside and then you continue worrying that something is wrong. Then your baby is born and there's a whole host of new issues to worry about. Your baby is asleep and you worry in case they're too hot/cold. Are they eating enough? Are they happy? Are they growing? You question what's normal and what's strange. Are they sick? Are they stimulated enough? Just a continuous and never-ending cycle of worry. - u/AmayaSmith96
Hyperemesis gravidarum is not the normal morning sickness and whatever old wives tale will not work. You will need prescription medication and even hospitalization because you'll get dehydrated. It happens to 1/10 pregnant people. There's a 'dry' and 'wet' variation. Wet being vomiting all day, every day, for 9 months. Even just water. Often, it gets slightly better after a while, but I vomited every day. Dry being so nauseated you cannot eat or drink. And then the final bonus no one prepared me for if you are a lucky person, like me, you will get what I like to call 'hyperemesis light' every time around your menstruation. Nausea all over again. I could take the pill, but we're trying for a second baby and then I need to think about a way to deal with the light version. - u/fluffypuffyz
I knew that I would stop losing hair while pregnant and then lose a bunch all at once postpartum. What I did not think about was that all the hair I lost would grow back all at once, too. So for about 18 months postpartum, I had very long hair with this weird halo of short hairs that were growing in. - u/hochizo My curly hair lost so much curl. Positives outweigh every negative. - u/deepwood41
Breastfeeding was really painful and I didn't produce any milk when my babies arrived, so they had to go bottle. I was okay with that as they were getting fed. But I didn't expect no milk to be in there. - u/Mapledore That the hormones while breastfeeding would literally drive me insane - and somehow get much, much worse when I started weaning. Seriously, weaning was way more difficult than pregnancy, morning sickness and birth. - u/VeronicaPalmer
I have yet to make progress in my career and I am reaching middle age. Virtual hugs. - u/singswithwhales I'm aware of the cost, which is why I'm against women paying bills in a marriage. My whole career and health are forever set back because of bearing children, so there's no way I'm also paying that gas bill. - u/CattoGinSama That I would need multiple surgeries to undo the damage to my vagina, reproductive organs, abdomen and breasts. I would be middle-aged before I could begin to make real progress in my career. I would never really recover financially from the years spent staying at home and raising small children. I love every one of my children dearly, but the cost has been high indeed. - u/tarot_tarot_bo_barot
I wish I knew I would be the one that the "rules" didn't apply to. I went from nothing to contractions that were 2 minutes apart in one hour, but I was doing what the doctor said and timing them all carefully. I had no idea I needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. By the time I got there five miles away, I was already at ten cm and couldn't take the epidural. More pain than I ever thought possible. But at least it was over fast. - u/FabulousPossession73
Your body will look unrecognizable. Not just in the obvious ways, like your breasts being a bit saggier and having a belly. Weird little things like my nipples being a completely different shape and color. I used to have really large areolas and they were very pale pink. Now they're smaller somehow but protrude more and are dark purple. Also, it made me feel so stupid (I guess I never had many friends or relatives who had babies), but I thought your milk came in before the baby was born. I didn't realize it usually comes in after. Also, on a darker note, I found out the hard way that it can be extremely dangerous to have a baby that has a different blood type than you. My son is fine, but he was in special care for a few weeks. And those reactions get worse with subsequent pregnancies. So, if I have another baby, the father or sperm donor has to have a negative blood type. - u/MaralenaOfSolitude
Mental health changes can be triggered by hormones and stress as well. Not just postpartum depression and psychosis, but permanent mental health impacts that can affect your ability to raise the kid you just birthed. I was raised by one of them. I've also seen many friends whose mental health suddenly took a turn or worsened after a pregnancy. - u/SeaworthySwarth That my depression would get much worse and I'd miss my old life terribly. - u/cashmerered That if you have some low level of anxiety before kids, it will be kicked up considerably forever. You will always be worried and stressed about them. - u/ballerina
Two things: one is that you could get to the ultrasound and despite all the chipper greetings of "Hi, Mom and Dad," etc., you could end up not hearing a heartbeat. Suddenly, the mood shifts in the room and they leave you alone for an excruciating few minutes before the doctor comes in to say there's no heartbeat. Somehow, it doesn't sink in that the baby is not alive and you go home to Google this over and over. Then, you have to get a procedure to remove the fetus. This was my first pregnancy. With the second, I wish I had been told not to eat spicy foods, have sex or take walks to make the baby come faster. I did all this and felt like I should have just let things progress more naturally. I ended up bleeding and being induced and then pushed for 6 and a half hours (because he was stuck in the canal) before he was taken out with forceps. - u/Playful_Butterfly290
I recently just had my third, so this is very timely lol. First, is that it's incomprehensible how much I would love my children once they were born. Like when I was pregnant with my first, I knew I would love her, but it was crazy the level and depths I felt. Second, how much the lack of routine would throw me off, being off work and taking care of a newborn. It was less weird now, but my husband and I call it living in the twilight zone. - u/FunnyBunny1313