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Women get honest about the toughest and best part of not having kids

"Toughest part: Being looked at as less of a woman, as less of a person, because I don't have children. I don't think it's fair," noted one person.

Women get honest about the toughest and best part of not having kids
Image Source: Back view of redheaded woman sitting on a rock looking at a distance (Getty Images/ Westend61)

We all know having children is a full-time job but have you ever wondered how it feels to be child-free? Women on Reddit shared what has been the most difficult and the best part about going child-free. They shared that people often think that their decisions would change with time and how their decision has hampered many relationships. However, the best part about not having kids has been to be able to have naps and the opportunity to live their best lives. Let's check out what these women have to say:

1. Letting go of a relationship

Hardest part? I had to let go of a guy I was seeing because he wanted a child. We knew each other for many years and we decided to have a good time for a few months. Then he told me he wanted to start a family in the next 2 years and I said not with me. We are still friends but he just moved a woman and her child in with him and he's hoping by next year she will be pregnant. I'm happy for them, but still single.


Best part? This year I went to 3 festivals and for xmas I just bought myself a designer watch, a kayak, a German beer wench outfit. Also, when pokemon came out I was able to play nonstop for 3 days. I've never known such peace and happiness. - HauntedGhostAtoms

2. Freedom of conscience

As a woman who still has doubts about being childfree, the toughest part is wondering if I’ll regret my decision. The best part, is the freedom of conscience, knowing that I’m not bringing a child into the world without knowing if I really want to. - Ser_Curioso

3. My partner wants kids

Toughest:
Finding out my partner of over 15+ years actually DID want kids the whole time and just assumed I would change my mind eventually. Also, learning they actually never wanted to get married without kids in the equation, because "what's the point?". We built an entire CF life together, and now I'm working on my exit because there's no other way this can go.                                                                                                                                  Best:
Having the ability to devote my time and efforts into things that make me happy for myself, and having full control over how I choose to spend my life. - GypsyShiner
 

4. Can't make my mother a grandmother 

The hardest part is that my mom is great, and she truly deserves the joy of being a grandmother. But I can’t make that choice for her. If I could make her a grandma without becoming a mother, I would. I’m lucky, she’s nice about it, not one to always drop passive aggressive comments, but I know she feels the void.
The best part is not having that same, deep worry for the future. I still want the best for society and our planet, I want my goddaughters and the children of those I love to inherit a functional world — but, it’s not the same I don’t think. I’ve formed a detachment to the future that I didn’t have when I was younger snd don’t think I could have if I had children of my own
Oh, and money. Being a DINK is nice - NoFilterNoLimits
Caucasian mother and daughter talking on sofa - stock photo - Getty Images | Ariel Skelley
Caucasian mother and daughter talking on sofa - stock photo - Getty Images | Ariel Skelley

 

5. No one reacts negatively

I know it's not typical but I honestly haven't met with anyone reacting negatively with my decision yet. Everyone has been either supportive or neutral at worst. So I can't say if there's any "tough" part. I live in a very HCL area and having the flexibility of living somewhere without thinking about school districts or child friendliness is a huge relief financially. - cecikierk
 

6. Being seen as less of a woman

Toughest part: Being looked at as less of a woman, as less of a person, because I don't have children. I don't think it's fair.
Best part: There's one less person that I'm at risk of disappointing. I always told myself (when I was younger) that if I had a kid, I'd have to be the best mom on the planet and with my current state of mind, I know that wouldn't be the case.
I'm at peace knowing I'm not ruining another person's life or giving them less than they deserve. There are enough "bad mothers" in the world, I won't be one of them. - [deleted]

7. Living my best life

Worst part is feeling excluded and cast aside by mom-friends once they become moms. Best part is living my best life. - Meowserrs22

8. All my friends have kids so can't be spontaneous

I love the freedom I have, my money is entirely my own, I can be selfish with it and I don’t need to worry about ensuring a small person is fed and warm.
For me the toughest part is that all my friends have kids, I’m single and so I have no one to do spontaneous things with because my friends all have to consider childcare etc but I’m happy doing things alone so that’s not the worst I guess. Also one of my friends became a mum and that became her whole personality, to the point that she stopped bothering to talk to me because I couldn’t possibly relate, she was my closest friend, that sucked. - ReadsHappy

9. Get to nap and sleep uninterrupted

The only downside has been my assumption that my mother would have a better relationship with me if I was also a mother (based on how she interacts with my brother, who is a parent). but that's her loss anyway. best part- I get to sleep and nap uninterrupted pretty much whenever I want. And I don't worry if I'm screwing someone else up. - DownTheRabbitHole_36 
Woman relaxing on a bed. Woman stretching hands in bed. - stock photo - Getty Images | Maria Korneeva
Woman relaxing on a bed. Woman stretching hands in bed. - stock photo - Getty Images | Maria Korneeva

 

10. Get to do whatever we want

No toughness. It's been wonderful. The hardest parts to deal with are the feelings and inquiries from everyone else who thinks I should have {had} kids. I'm almost 42 now, and most don't ask anymore about when I'll have kids, but IF I have kids. I usually respond with a cheerful or mildly disgusted "ooph, No!"
I sleep in. We travel. We work constantly. We do whatever we want. No singalong songs or minivans or soccer practices or shitty homework. The lists go on and on. We are so happy with our decision to stay child free. - Sterlina

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