Woman's game-changing online dating hack is all about finding one's perfect match efficiently

Dating apps are filled with thousands of profiles, making it difficult to find a potential match. To solve this issue, a woman decided to take matters into her own hands by coming up with an efficient method to find the needle in the haystack. Inspired by Mahatma Gandhi’s idea of “Be the change you want to see in the world,” Jennie Young came up with a unique method aimed at filtering out unwanted swiping to find the love of your life.

The 50-year-old’s initial experience with dating apps made her think of an out-of-the-box strategy named the "Burned Haystack Dating Method (BHDM)." Young, who herself found her ideal date within five days of using this tactic, firmly believes she has started a new “feminist revolution.” In an essay that she penned for the HuffPost, the expert shared insights into maintaining a healthy dating life.

"I was horrified and convinced I was missing something about how to make these apps work in my favor," Jennie wrote. A late-night Google search on finding a needle in a haystack led her to develop the BHDM. To find the needle, one needs to burn the haystack, according to the dating coach, which she believes aptly applies to the algorithms on which dating apps operate.

With BHDM, women can easily rule out unsuitable matches in their bid for a “good man” if not a “life partner.” Notably, women in their forties and above are increasingly relying on Jennie’s advice when looking for an ideal match. "We interact only with individual messages that are well-written, reference our profiles, and do something to extend the conversation," is Jennie’s first rule of the Burned Haystack Method.

Furthermore, the dating coach insists on connecting with matches through interaction and messaging. She strongly advises against endlessly scrolling the apps or engaging with pen pals. “We refuse to fight with men or waste any of our time and energy putting them in their place, even if they deserve it,” Jennie said. According to the founder of BHDM, at this point, women using her method may reach some decent matches. However, it does not stop there, as engagement is essential in finding a true gentleman.

“If a conversation is decent but not moving toward meeting in real life within a week or two, we block without further interaction,” Jennie explained, considering “block” as a way to get new matches. Jennie calls it "Block to Burn," which has become a mantra in the Burned Haystack group. “Blocking is the only way to prevent the apps from recycling matches. If you ‘block’ rather than just swipe left, you’re assured of not seeing that guy again, which means the app has no choice but to show you new matches that might be much better,” she continued.

These strategies have led her Facebook group to grow exponentially. In April 2023, the Burned Haystack community reportedly had 850 women as members from across the globe. It is now over a 111K-strong tribe to help adults find long-term, stable, monogamous relationships. Even if there is no soul connection, the founder says one could still meet some nice men.