'We shouldn't have to go to these lengths to protect ourselves. It is more common than men think.'
In a sea of dating horror stories online, here’s one that took a pleasantly surprising turn. Shared by Reddit user u/GamerGurl3980 to the r/TwoXChromosomes community, the post stirred up important conversations about the world of dating in the 21st century. In the post titled "Something my date did the other night BLEW MY MIND," the 21-year-old shared how her date surprised her with an incredibly thoughtful gesture that helped her to feel safe during their first date. "So I've been getting back into dating lately. I met this one guy (27M) off Bumble and we hit it off," she wrote.
"We went on our first date on Thursday. We spent like 4-5 hours together, getting to know each other and such. Those 4-5 hours were great," the young woman shared. "We then went to a restaurant later in the day and when I got my drinks (water and a pink lemonade), I needed to go use the bathroom. But I didn't trust him enough to leave my drink unattended (because duh, it was our first time meeting). I tried to cover it with my cloth napkin but obviously—that wouldn't stop him if he tried to drug me."
Do you ever think twice before taking a sip of your drink, wondering if it's spiked?
— UN Women (@UN_Women) November 27, 2019
Women usually do.
Nobody should have to.
Find out more at https://t.co/LGmka0v1mP pic.twitter.com/79bMJbQ9Kk
Unable to figure out a safe way to leave her drinks with her date, the woman decided to wait it out. "I said how I'd just wait until I get home to use the bathroom (since the restaurant was only a few minutes away from my house). This was when her date stepped in with a solution. "When our waiter came back to us, my date proceeded to say to the waiter: 'Hey, it's our first date. Can you take her drinks and hold them while she goes to the bathroom and bring them back when she gets back?' WHEN I TELL YOU IN MY HEAD MY JAW DROPPED!!!! I have NEVER had a guy do that for me before or I've never heard of any guy doing that with any woman before," u/GamerGurl3980 wrote.
She acknowledged this might be considered by some as the bare minimum a guy can do to make his date feel safe around him. However, she wrote, "he went out of his way to ask the waiter to HOLD MY DRINKS to assure me that I would be safe with him. That was amazing to me personally." The Reddit user concluded the post by revealing that they had another date scheduled for the weekend and that she was looking forward to seeing where things go with him. Speaking to Bored Panda about her post and the incredible response it received on the platform, the woman revealed that there were hundreds of comments from women sharing their stories of being drugged on first dates, at the club and even with people they know.
EXCL: 'Come round in the bin area': One in nine women say they have had their drink spiked, @YouGov poll finds https://t.co/Ainn654j64 @EVAWuk
— M A Y A O P P E N H E I M 💃🏻 ✍️ (@MayaOppenheim) November 18, 2021
"It happens all around the world. There are literally inventions meant to protect your cup like the 'Cup Condom' on Amazon. We shouldn't have to go to these lengths to protect ourselves. It is way more common than men think," she explained. Recalling how she felt when her date told the bartender to hold their drinks while she went to the bathroom, the woman said she was shocked. "Like freaking out in my mind like 'no way this guy went to these lengths to make me feel safe?!' I went to the bathroom afterward and was literally freaking out in the stall," she admitted. "I loved it. It made me feel safer. Although, I still was cautious because some men try to give women a false sense of security. So it wasn't like I was head over heels for him, but I was thoroughly impressed!"
Unfortunately, their courtship was short-lived. "I want kids in the future. He said he doesn't. I tried being honest with him saying that I was concerned that things would end between us (which I didn't want to happen, I wanted to continue getting to know him since things were going great) because of him not wanting kids," she revealed. "He reacted disrespectfully and was very rude. I confronted him telling him that he can't speak to me that way and it was like he was offended? He was very adamant about ending things afterward and unmatched me on Bumble. Now, my lesson I would share is, for one, let someone prove to you over time with their actions that they genuinely are good people. Don't fall for first impressions."
"Secondly, age does not mean maturity or wisdom. This man was 6 years older than me. A lot of the comments in my post were about the concern for the age gap because he would be 'wiser' than me. When in the end, things ended due to his immaturity," the Reddit user concluded.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago.