She warned her ex’s new girlfriend about him but got pushed out of the friend group. 4 years later, one message proved she was right all along
'I sadly knew at that point I didn't have the means to help her,' the woman recounted
No matter how desperately you try to save someone from the disaster heading their way, some lessons can only be learned through firsthand experience. This is exactly what happened with one woman (u/Antique_Bed9327) who tried to save another woman from her terrible ex-boyfriend. However, instead of trusting her, the woman thought she was being jealous of her new relationship. It wasn't until years later that the new girlfriend realized the truth. The woman shared the whole story in a Reddit post on August 12, 2026, garnering over 1,600 upvotes.
Ignored red flags
Long before the other woman entered the picture, this woman's relationship with her ex-boyfriend began under unusual circumstances. Back then, she wasn't doing well mentally when she started dating him. It didn't take long for her to realize that he was a complete red flag. Not only did the man treat her poorly, but he was also very cold and became angry when she expressed her feelings. Their relationship didn't last long, as they split up after only a year of dating.
A rapid transition
The man was quick to get a new girlfriend. He got one "probably about two to three weeks out from us breaking up," the woman stated. Moreover, he wasted no time in bringing his new girlfriend to the friend group. However, given that OP was "in a bad place mentally," she decided to stay within the group. Initially, this wasn't a problem. If anything, her ex's new girlfriend was cool with her hanging around with the rest of the group. But that was about to change.
Trying to save her
While the woman wanted to mind her business at first, she couldn't let another woman go through what she had experienced. So, she decided to give her ex's new girlfriend a heads-up. "At this time, I had begun healing and understanding that he was really not a good person," she noted. All she wanted to do was let this woman know that she was just being helpful and had no malice whatsoever. To her surprise, when she brought this up in a conversation, she responded pretty well. She even said that she'd talk to the man about his behavior.
Doesn't want to be saved
However, shortly after this exchange, the woman's behavior toward her changed. She was not only mean and dismissive of her, but she also didn't want her around anymore. She actively made it her point to have this woman kicked out of the friends' group. At the same time, she also started planning to move the man into her family home. What she didn't know was that he had a habit of using his girlfriends as a means to secure a roof over his head. After this, the woman realized there was little more she could do to help the new girlfriend. "I sadly knew at that point I didn't have the means to help her," she said.
An apology came years later
Following this, the woman knew that her ex had manipulated her, so she left the friend group for her own good. Years passed, and she didn't hear back from anyone. That was until she got a message from the woman. "She goes on to say her relationship with him lasted four years and that I was right about everything," the woman revealed. She then apologized to her for her behavior and felt bad for not listening to her advice. Although she wanted to save her from this exact pain, it seems like some lessons are meant to be learned.
Should listen to people
Nonetheless, the entire incident highlights how difficult it can be to recognize a harmful relationship from the inside. More than 1 in 3 women (34%) in the United States have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime, according to the CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. The survey also found that nearly 1 in 3 women (29.9%) experienced intimate-partner violence alongside at least one related impact, such as physical injury, missing work or school, concerns about their safety, or needing medical care.
'They look for kind women to parent their lazy a**es'
That is why people were hoping that this woman was doing better. u/butterflybeyonce commented, "I’m so proud of you OP! It’s so good you trusted yourself! Hope you’re ok and doing better mentally now." Meanwhile, u/EccentricFox20 noted, "Hobosexuals — they look for kind women to parent their lazy a**es. A lesson I took 3 years to learn. Girl, I feel you. May you both heal and find happiness."
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