She expressed her frustration over shouldering the majority of childcare responsibilities while her husband did not do anything.
Moms always try to do way more than they can, like taking care of the kids while ensuring the house is clean and that there is home-cooked food for the family. They do not expect anyone to be grateful for that, but a little help with their kids or the house in times of need really makes them feel supported. A mom—who goes by u/mixedmediamadness on Reddit—shared how she could not take leave on July 3 to take care of her child and wanted her husband to do so.
"I just switched jobs to a new company that requires much more in-office time but still offers a level of flexibility. My husband still has a full-time in-person job. My son's daycare is closed July 3, but my husband and I both have work," she wrote.
The woman refused to take leave this time. "I told him that it was finally time for him to have his job inconvenienced by our child. I told him that the past two years have made me unreliable at work. The past two years have taken so much out of me and I am done with the assumption that I alone will be the one inconvenienced and expected to bend over backward to accommodate any scheduling changes for our child," the mother said.
She also mentioned how she earlier was working from home full-time and whenever the child was home from daycare, he was with her. "Some days my mom would also come by and help, but I was always splitting time between working and childcare," she added.
However, her husband asked for leave from his office on July 3. "But his job doesn't like it when people take off days up against holidays. So they will be charging him two days of PTO to take off Monday, July 3 and then also Tuesday, July 4 (rather than just giving him the fourth off as a holiday). And they seemed offended that he would even ask for the day," wrote the mom.
Moreover, one of his bosses, also a mom, asked him why shouldn't his wife take the day off for the child. "I cannot win here. I can't even ask my husband to step up and be an equal parent because his job won't allow him to be there when his kid needs him. What am I actually supposed to do? Just allow my career to suffer because as a woman, I'm the one expected to be there?" she posed a question.
She concluded the post by saying that her not being in office actually makes her "look bad" as she is new and needs to prove herself. "It would be easier for me to take the day further down the road, but also that isn't exactly the point of my frustration either," she emphasized.
Many on the platform supported the mother for standing up for herself. u/Major-Distanced4270 commented, "You have a brand new job. That means your husband will need to be the parent who takes time off for at least six months while you get established. His boss will have to correct her ridiculously sexist assumptions." u/SweetDisorder wrote, "Yes, you can still ask him to step up. He's an adult who can deal with his job or find a new job."
u/Pinklady1313 shared, "I feel you there. My husband is in management so I bear the brunt of stay home days. He takes a turn as much as he can, but it’s a federal holiday today and a Monday. As management, he needs to be there. I’m lucky at my job I can take my daughter (3yo) in with me for a few hours to do some stuff."