Underprivileged woman calls it quits after privileged girlfriend 'scores' meals from food pantry meant for the poor

A Reddit user shared how her girlfriend’s comment about "scoring" meals from a food pantry made her question their entire relationship. Posting under u/Cherrybite23, the woman described growing up poor, working from "nothing" to build a modest but independent life, and dating someone whose idea of struggle looked very different. She explained that her girlfriend, "Amelia," came from wealth but liked to frame herself as cut off. "Her mom was a doctor and stupid rich, but they didn’t get along since she cut her off," she wrote.

"But the thing was... she wasn’t cut off?? She and her sister live in a very nice townhouse in the city that their mother bought for them, she gave her a very nice car, and has agreed to continue paying her college tuition." The issue began when Amelia, who recently lost her job, sent her a picture of food from a local charity. "She texted me a picture of a sandwich, saying essentially, 'Look at this giant sandwich I scored at the food pantry,' and I was basically taken a bit aback," she wrote.

Having grown up poor, she explained that "the food pantry was absolutely a last resort, reserved for the most vulnerable members of society who truly needed it," which is true. Locally, pantry users often live with very low incomes. For example, according to San Diego Food Bank research, the median household income of those receiving aid is around $21,000, and 57% of recipients have been using the food bank for less than a year. Nationwide, food banks and pantries now serve tens of millions every year, many of them first-time users.

When they talked in person, she said Amelia admitted she had been going to the food pantry "even before, when she had a job and her mom was paying all her bills." That realization hit her hard. "To me, that’s a vital community resource she was taking advantage of for sh*** and giggles," she said. She tried to explain it gently, suggesting that food stamps might be a more appropriate option. "She said she had never thought about doing that before. It weirdly made me feel like she thought food stamps were below her, or maybe more complicated than just going and picking up free food," she wrote.

The incident also made her reflect on other signs that Amelia didn’t quite understand the kind of struggles she faced. "I don’t think it’s malicious; she just hasn’t had a lot of real world experiences," she admitted. The author ended the post by admitting that she was considering breaking up with Amelia because, while she wasn’t a bad person, she wasn’t sure she had the emotional energy "to explain these social rules to her continuously, when she doesn’t seem receptive to correction."

The post sparked a wide range of reactions. u/soylattebb commented, "Also, OP it sounds like you need to break open some of the shame or concerns you have about going to the food pantry — go if you are struggling! It’s there to help you not struggle." u/tammigirl6767 wrote, "As someone who has volunteered at a food pantry for 10 years, they are not a complete last resort. They are for whoever needs some help. I encourage you to go as well." u/Colleen987 added, "It isn’t your job to screen people using a food pantry. At least in my area most welcome anyone as they have so much food they end up throwing loads away. I think you may want to work on unpacking your own prejudice around it."

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