Her mom died before they could reconcile. Years later, a letter revealed the truth she never knew
'At times, she was emotionally unavailable, and I couldn’t tell if she really heard me out when it came to how I was feeling.'
Trigger Warning: This article contains a mention of Domestic Violence that some readers might find distressing.
Leaving things unsaid or conflict unresolved with deceased loved ones is a shattering guilt to weather. A woman who goes by u/SketchyKYR shared a post on January 17 about how she tried to fix things with her mother before she passed away. The mom lost her battle to tongue cancer in 2026, and for over five years, her daughter held the pain of not having the best relationship with her. The woman recently freed herself from a domestic violence situation and stumbled upon a letter from her late mom. Finally, relieved her of all the guilt she had been holding.
My twin found the card my mom gave me months before she passed away from cancer in January of 2020. The way I understand it now compared to then.
byu/SketchKYR inMadeMeSmile
The woman revealed that despite doing everything she could in the last six months of her mother’s life, she felt like she didn’t do enough. “I still feel like I failed her,” she remarked. “We went through so much, and it got to the point where my anxiety and PTSD symptoms were causing issues in our relationship. At times, she was emotionally unavailable, and I couldn’t tell if she really heard me out when it came to how I was feeling,” she revealed. As she held this thought with no answers, she finally found a letter that became a soothing closure. It was her mom addressing their very situation. “I know life has not been easy,” the mom began.
She noted how the time went by in ways they never expected. Nevertheless, she was proud that her daughter was able to accept and speak up about her issues. “I want to commend you on realizing that you have things going on with you. Now you need to find that bravery to trust we are okay and that you can mentally relax,” she added. The mom assured the woman that they would make it through and survive as best as possible and that she didn’t have to take all the burden on her own shoulders. Leaving her with advice, the mom noted that one can’t see life in the good without going through the bad parts. “That is why it's so important that you do. I know you can't see it but we do love you. We just get scared for you. I love you,” the mom concluded.
She assured her daughter that she had done enough and that she was proud. Reading those words pushed the woman to remember that they were warriors. They had been through hell before and came back stronger, and every word her mother penned was a lesson from something they witnessed. “Now, I understand that she just wanted me to be happy, and to know that no matter what, we’ll figure things out. We will be okay,” she affirmed. The woman mentioned that her mom had Squamous Cell Carcinoma. According to Mayo Clinic, it is a condition often caused by UV radiation and affects the lips, back of hands, scalp, and other areas where there is more exposure to the sun. It can spread and eventually become life-threatening. Caring for a mom, knowing she is chronically ill and won’t make it, can be heartbreakingly stressful.
According to research by Asres Bedaso, Getiye Dejenu, and Bereket Duko in the National Library of Medicine, a study conducted on family caregivers of cancer patients in home palliative care revealed 50% suffered from psychological distress. Numbers from a global review showed 42.3% of family caregivers of cancer patients suffered from depression and 46.55% from anxiety. Receiving that reassurance in the form of a letter brought relief like no other. “This is the one piece from her that I will cherish forever,” the daughter remarked, assuring her mom, wherever she might be, that she will be okay.
Sharing in a comment, she added how her mom often gave too much of herself and knew how draining it was, and was able to relate to her daughter’s struggles at the time. “I just was so entrapped in grief that I didn’t fully absorb what she’d meant until recently,” she added. u/Rich-Weight5742 said, “This broke me in the best way. That card showing up right after you got out of the DV situation feels like she’s still watching out for you and your sister.” u/UnitedScratch-2132 added, “You didn't fail her, you cared for her, and that is not always something easy to do, but you did it.”
If you are being subjected to domestic abuse or know of anyone else who is, please visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
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