A call from her boyfriend's 'dead' wife made her send screenshots of their affair. Then both spouses turned on her
'It got to the point where I'd answer the calls and just mute it because having the line connected was easier than having it ring over and over'
When a woman realizes she is the unwitting other woman, her first thought is often to come clean. The unwritten expectation is simple: girl code wins, the wife sees the truth, and everyone gets closure. For one woman (u/thousandsofbirds), however, doing the right thing blew up in her face. After learning the man she had been romantically involved with online had lied that his wife was dead, she reached out to tell the wife everything. Instead, she says the fallout turned into years of recurring harassment. The husband convinced his wife it was all a lie, and both turned on her with burner calls, stalker accounts, and physical threats. It got to a point where she decided to share her entire experience on Reddit on October 31, 2026, amassing over 21,000 upvotes.
The fabricated tragedy
A decade ago, an out-of-state romance seemed promising to the woman. She and the man engaged in daily calls, texts, and FaceTime sessions. He painted himself as a grieving widower, recounting how his wife passed away and how hard it was to be a single parent. They talked about a "potential future together," completely unaware that his tragedy was a lie. That was until the man's wife called her number directly. Stunned by this revelation, the woman stayed on the phone with the wife for hours. She apologized profusely and explained the deception. Wanting to prove she was entirely in the dark, she even sent her screenshots of their conversations. "The conversation went well, and that was that," she recalled.
The reversal and backlash
The honesty immediately triggered a violent backlash once the husband convinced his spouse that the evidence was forged. He claimed she was merely a desperate friend whom he had repeatedly rejected. Soon, burner numbers flooded her phone with verbal abuse. "It got to the point where I'd answer the calls and just mute it because having the line connected was easier than having it ring over and over," the woman revealed. Unfortunately, things were only about to get worse for the woman. That is because soon the wife also joined the attack. Both spouses unleashed hostile messages across social media, cycling through newly made profiles and even sending threats from their child’s account.
Taking measures as the voices echo
When the threats escalated to warnings of physical harm, the woman alerted her workplace. Then she began seeking legal protection. "I went to the magistrate, but they were useless. When it still didn't stop, I contacted a DV advocacy center that sat down and went over everything with me," she said. However, since they didn't have the couple's address, she said the center could not locate an address where the couple could be served. Eventually, the threats started to fade. But the obsession never fully died. Every few years, random accounts surfaced with hostile check-ins, only to be blocked. Even after years of complete quiet, a new barrage of insults landed in the woman's inbox, leaving her wondering if this would ever end.
State online harassment
Surprisingly, this woman isn't alone. According to a Pew Research poll, a staggering 41% of American adults have personally experienced some form of online harassment. This includes everything from offensive name-calling to stalking, what this woman experienced, to physical threats, and even harassment sustained over a period of time. This explains why 55% of adults think that online harassment is a massive problem within the country. Men (43%) were slightly more likely than women (38%) to say they have experienced any form of online harassment overall, but women were more likely to report being sexually harassed (15%) or stalked online (13%).
Feeling bad for the wife
Some commenters also expressed sympathy for the wife, believing she may still be manipulated by her husband. u/beadz123 wrote, "I would put actual money on the idea that multiple women have reached out to her over the years, and every time a new woman reaches out, he just tells her it’s you on a fake profile, and the harassment resumes. Especially with this follow-up after 4 years? I almost feel bad for her. Absolutely delusional spouse." At the same time, u/Ok-Benefit197 commented, "I have a feeling she messages you when she finds evidence of him cheating again with other people and takes it out on you."
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