Woman tells small-town husband to stop being kind to strangers in the city, sparking debate

People often have this idea that being amicable to strangers in new cities could lead to dangerous situations. That is not always true, but being cautious is always important. A woman wanted her husband to stop being friendly to strangers in a city as it could become dangerous for him. She asked people online if she was wrong in doing so. The wife wrote in a Reddit post that she and her husband were vacationing in her hometown, a large city in the US. "He is from a tiny, rural town in a very rural state in the south," mentions the woman. 

She found it normal for him to be friendly when they were in his place but did not approve of it in the city. "It's normal there to be incredibly friendly, talk to strangers, etc. He is the epitome of this culture. He makes friends in elevators, at the store, and wherever. I LOVE him for this," writes the wife. According to her, it became dangerous to be friendly in the city. She said, "If a beggar comes up for 'bus fare,' his phone for a call, whatever, he will accept, give it to them and have a conversation with them just like it's normal. This is completely alien to me. I have been mugged at gunpoint, harassed, and feared for my life in encounters exactly like that."

Also, she gave an example of what happened once. She explained, "This specific time, we had a lot to drink and a strange man approached us at a subway parking garage at midnight, asking for his phone's hotspot. I tried grabbing my husband, telling him no, and moving us away, but he accepted anyway. I ended up walking away and nervously pacing while they talked." The man turned out to be "perfectly nice" and pointed out that she was rude. She said, "I was, and that he appreciated my husband's kindness. I felt guilty, but I don't think I'm wrong to be careful. My husband accepted my reasoning, but he is consistently like this."

She concluded the post by writing, "I worry that maybe I've become too cold, I don't want him to lose that kindness, but honestly… I'd rather be rude than mugged or worse and I think his rural upbringing leaves him completely in the dark when it comes to the chances of those possibilities."

Many people came out in the wife's support and said that she was right in doing so. u/quantumdreamqueen commented, "NTA. People saying otherwise have never lived in a city. It’s called street smarts for a reason. Stand your ground. Stranger danger is real and crime is up in all metropolitan areas. Be safe!" u/LiveStrawberry2371 wrote, "To be honest; he’s safer and unbothered bc he’s a man.. not at all sometimes they just don’t understand the fear we face in our daily lives as women." u/tictactoss said, "NTA. Trust your gut always. Your husband might have great radar for people too. At least I hope it isn't total naivety, and he would run in a truly dangerous scenario. But you two need to have a talk where if EITHER of you feels uncomfortable you BOTH leave because that wasn't cool."