Woman tells husband she doesn't want to have children in the USA, gives him an ultimatum

It's common for people to feel unsettled by shifting social and political landscapes, especially when they're considering starting a family. Parents want their children to grow up in a stable, safe environment, which can make current events weigh even more heavily on their minds. One woman, known as u/ThrowRAFeeltogd on Reddit, shared her experience of feeling increasingly unsafe in the U.S. and wanting to move abroad before having children.

“I am a dual citizen in the USA," she began, explaining her background. "My husband (34 years old) is American, and we’ve been talking about having children, but the unrest from the election has really changed my mind about raising a family here, no matter the outcome.” She emphasized that her concerns weren't financially motivated, explaining, “I’m an engineer, and I’m decently well-off from my work. The issue is… this country literally terrifies me right now. It’s not the country I moved to in college."

Reflecting on her family's past, she shared an unsettling comparison: “I feel like I’m my great-grandma watching Hitler come into power. She described the realization to me once, and, man, it feels eerie.”

"And honestly, it doesn't matter who wins. It's that we're surrounded by people whose views disturb me at this point." The woman lives in one of the red states. "I've already begun looking at houses in Canada. I've been telling my husband for a while (3 years) that I don't think I want to live here anymore. But tonight, I put my foot down and told him I don't want to have children here ever," the woman expressed. "It is honestly a deciding factor. I don't want to raise children here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be pregnant here." The woman's husband asked her why she was being like this, to which she had no straight answer but looking for clearer ways to communicate with him.

In an update, the wife shared, "A day ago, I saw something that really kind of cemented my choice. A truck stopped next to me at a red light on my regular grocery route and on the window, it had painted. 'Her body, my choice.' I've never heard this line before. I don't know if it's some wave of insanity overtaking that side of America, I don't care." She added, "I've decided to leave. I did start this for advice on how to explain why, better to my husband…but I don't feel safe, so I'm going to start my moving preparations and if we still haven't come to a conclusion by the time I leave. I guess we can try long-distance marriage counseling if we still want to continue this." The woman doesn't know what will happen to her marriage but is sure about moving.

People are showing their support for the woman in the comments. u/bdayqueen wrote, "Hon, I don't blame you. The guy who voiced this disgusting POV needs to be removed from the gene pool." u/Susgatuan commented, "I would recommend seeking therapy once you have made whatever decision you make." u/Eekthebrave27 remarked, "You live in a country where your bodily autonomy is about to be taken away. YOU ARE VALID. Put him in your shoes and see how he'd feel if his bodily autonomy was going to get taken away! I bet he'll change his tune real quick."