Woman suspects soon-to-be-ex-husband bugged her car — so she went along and played him like a fiddle

A contested divorce can, unfortunately, bring out the worst in one’s spouse. The estranged and aggrieved partner may resort to underhanded or perhaps even devious conduct, including manipulation, aggression, or vindictiveness, making the process a living hell for the other partner. In a recent post, a woman—who goes by u/equrty on Reddit—shared “a petty divorce tale” of her friend Lisa. When Lisa filed for divorce, her husband, “Todd the Terrible,” turned into a “full-on paranoid spy mode” and bugged everything, from her car to the house, to secretly spy on her. 

The woman shared that she thought of posting Lisa’s story because it was a gem “too hilarious not to share.”

Lisa was in her 50s and had been “married forever” to the “nightmare of a husband.” Lisa thought about divorcing her husband more times than she could count, but she always hesitated, knowing that Todd would turn the process into a “living hell.” Two months ago, Lisa finally “snapped” and filed for divorce. She decided it was her time to break free.

But as soon as she revealed her decision, her husband became paranoid. At first, he planted several surveillance devices all over their house as well as some illegal listening devices because “that’s the exact advice he gave his brother during his own divorce.” 

If that wasn’t creepy enough, Todd slipped out of the house for two days with their family car right after Lisa handed him the divorce papers. It made Lisa suspect he was putting GPS trackers and bugs in the car. She noted that Todd’s tantrum was “entirely pointless” since in their country, separating couples are supposed to split everything in a 50/50 ratio. “So even if Lisa were sneaking off to rendezvous with the entire Kansas City Chiefs team, it wouldn’t change a thing,” she explained. But when Lisa suspected she was being spied on, she felt “understandably frustrated” as she didn’t have money to check her car for all these spy cameras, microphones, or surveillance gadgets.

So, the woman suggested Lisa take a “perfect petty revenge: turning his creepy surveillance obsession against him.” Now, whenever Lisa is driving the bugged car, she puts on a loud, raunchy show, yelling statements that attack his masculinity and sexual prowess. Throwing out statements like, "Your d*ck’s so small that you need a microscope to find what you're working with," "You’re the worst sex I’ve ever had. And I’ve had bad sex," and "I feel sorry for your future dates—they'll need a search party to find any satisfaction," made Lisa feel better than any therapy could’ve made her feel.

In the comments section, hundreds of people joined the discussion and shared tips and tactics to help Lisa deal with her paranoid ex-husband. “This is the best suggestion. Nothing better than psychological torture that could haunt him the rest of his life” suggested u/AlsatianLadyNYC. Dozens of women jumped in to share how their exes turned to spying after separating. u/No_Tomatillo1553 shared, “Men are f*****g lunatics. […] I did exactly what OP suggested and I just started complaining about him. It was very cathartic,” she wrote.

Keeping comedy aside from the situation, u/Flemseltje suggested Lisa “have a talk with a professional about safety strategies” given that her husband could resort to any possible means to win this power struggle. u/ExperienceEven114 informed, “For the record, there may be organizations that will check your friend's car for tracking or surveillance devices for free. I know we have them in Australia. They’re usually linked with organizations which deal with domestic violence.”