Woman surprises boyfriend by joining his 'guys-only' and was told she crossed the line

To spend quality time together, many couples plan special activities away from their busy routines. However, there are times when they also crave some "me time." A 31-year-old man, u/Brosvactainthrowa, found himself facing this dilemma. He had planned a trip with his guy friends but was caught off guard when his girlfriend, Emily, booked her tickets for the same holiday without consulting him. She also requested that he pay half of her accommodation costs. The boyfriend turned to Reddit, questioning whether he was wrong for refusing to cover her expenses.

"I have been dating my girlfriend, Emily, for about a year. Things have been going really well, and we've been talking about taking a trip together at some point," the boyfriend began. However, things took an unexpected turn. "A few weeks ago, I started planning a trip with some old college buddies," he shared. The group had a tradition of getting together every couple of years, and this time, they decided to go abroad. "We're splitting costs for accommodations, food and activities. I didn't invite Emily because this trip was already established as a guys-only thing, and I assumed she'd understand," the boyfriend explained.

When the boyfriend told his girlfriend about the trip, she seemed hurt but told him to enjoy himself. "Fast forward to last week, and Emily surprised me by telling me she booked tickets to join me on the trip," the 31-year-old recounted. She suggested he spend the days with his friends and the evenings with her. The boyfriend wasn't pleased with the change of plans. "Then she asked if I could split the cost of her accommodations since 'we'd both benefit from her being there,'" he continued. He disagreed, explaining that he hadn’t invited her and didn’t feel comfortable paying for something he didn’t agree to. "She got upset and said she thought I'd be happy she wanted to join and accused me of being dismissive of her feelings," the boyfriend added.

The girlfriend had been distant since then, leaving the boyfriend wondering if he was too harsh on her. "I love Emily and enjoy spending time with her, but this trip was planned as something separate," he pointed out. People in the comments supported the boyfriend and shared their views. u/meepgorp commented, "She doesn't get to have feelings about her own choice to go absolutely barreling through your express wishes to travel with your friend group. 'We both benefit from her being there' - excuse me? How do you benefit from having a gatecrasher demand that you stop what you'd planned to do and entertain her? And do you really believe she's going to entertain herself? Because I don't."

u/Complete-Culture8749 remarked, "I'd seriously consider ending this relationship with Emily, and I'm a woman. It is perfectly reasonable to go on a guy's trip. This is a manipulative and insecure person. Do you really want that in your life when you could have better?" u/PdiddySmith shared, "Surprising someone on a trip is bold, but expecting them to foot part of the bill for your uninvited adventure is a whole other level of audacity." u/ppaulmddeleo wrote, "Emily overstepped by booking tickets without discussing it with the boyfriend first. It's not fair to expect him to pay for a trip he never planned to take with her."