He bought a condo and asked his girlfriend to move in — but tried to bill her $25K when things went south

Relationships undoubtedly involve sharing ups and downs as well as assets and finances, but they have to be pre-discussed and well planned. A woman who goes by u/redditrobin26 revealed that her boyfriend started living on his own in a newly purchased condo a year before they began dating. In her Reddit post, she noted that they were living together, and a while later, her partner decided to sell the place. The offer would leave them at a $25,000 loss, but the man casually noted it would be her loss and not his, since he had no money. 

The duo were pretty serious about their relationship and had been living together for a year. The man purchased the condo with the help of his parents’ finances and support. On the other hand, the woman had to build everything from scratch for herself. After losing her mom and living with a chronically ill dad, she moved to build a secure life. After learning about loans and savings and experiencing it all, “Financial security is extremely important to me because I don’t really have a safety net / anywhere to go if anything were to happen to my dad,” she noted. 

A while after living in the condo, the man discussed selling it as it would be better to rent long-term than maintain the place. “I’m open to renting, even though my monthly costs would increase, because I’d be part of the decision,” the woman noted. As they discussed the sale, the boyfriend casually mentioned, “And realistically, it’s going to be costing you $25K because I don’t have that money.” Without a second thought, the man pushed the mortgage issues onto the woman, expecting her to take it up. While he was otherwise "generous," she couldn't understand how he carelessly commented. “I didn’t think taking on that loss would even be up for discussion, let alone sound like the assumption,” she mentioned. 

Moreover, she wasn’t very comfortable financially. “The only way I could help would be pulling money from my RRSP, which has tax penalties and long-term opportunity costs,” she revealed. The pressure and responsibility would also make her “very vulnerable.” “If something went wrong in our relationship down the line, I’d be in a vulnerable position, potentially unable to leave if I wanted to,” she remarked. As she pondered the situation, she didn’t feel responsible for the place since she had no say about its purchase. How finances are managed by a couple has a big impact on their financial situation as well as their relationship as a whole. According to a study from the University of Georgia on around 100 couples, both partners noted that they shape a perception about their significant other based on whether they are “spenders” or “savers.”  

John Grable, co-author of the study, added, “Money habits don’t just shape household budgets; it also shapes how couples feel about their relationships.” Those who were seen as “savers” were considered more reliable, thus pleasing the partner and building trust. Jamie Lynn Byram, lead author of the study and lecturer at UGA, noted, “Couples in which partners viewed each other as savers (rather than spenders) reported higher levels of marital happiness and financial well-being.” For Redditors, there was no doubt on what the woman should do. u/Upstairs_Pin_654 said, “Don’t give 25k to someone you've dated for 2 years. That shouldn't even be a question.” u/Ladyfoxfire added, “That’s grounds for an automatic breakup. He has no right to make financial decisions with your money, and he’s insane for even considering it.”

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