A woman stopped a man on his night run to ask for help and it made him confront his own privilege
'It's a sort of privilege I didn't realize I even had,' he said, realizing the quiet privilege men have over women.
Tom Trotter (@tomtrotter_), a fitness coach, was out for a quick run at night when a woman named Emma stopped him midway. Terrified, she told him that she'd forgotten her flashlight at home and didn't feel safe running in the dark. Trotter recognized her dilemma and asked if she wanted to join him. Emma said yes, and Trotter realized the quiet privilege men have over women in case of safety. The fitness coach shared the video on his Instagram profile on January 23, which has gained over 661k likes so far.
At first, Emma looked a bit embarrassed to ask Trotter for help, but he made sure she felt safe enough to open up. She told him she had forgotten to carry her flashlight, and although there were people on the street, she didn't feel comfortable running all alone. Trotter had multiple flashlights, and so he insisted they run in the same direction so Emma wouldn't feel anxious. She agreed, and they continued their run. Trotter told her how he always carried extra lights, not because he ever felt unsafe, but only because of the darkness. However, Emma explained that women have to always be cautious about safety before doing anything. "I now know how important it is for people to feel seen," Trotter said, moved by the hard-hitting reality.
He gave her his flashlight, and they continued to run together for a few more miles before taking different routes. "It's a sort of privilege I didn't realize I even had," he added. The man was overwhelmed by the whole experience. He realized how unfortunate it is that women constantly worry about their safety while doing something they love. "This isn’t about labels or pointing fingers. It’s about empathy. It’s about learning. It’s about moving through the world with more care," he wrote.
Unfortunately, women aren't safe anywhere; whether it's their workplace or any public space, they are constantly worried about their safety. Research by Girlguiding revealed that 68% of young girls (aged 11-21) change their daily behaviour to evade sexual harassment. They are also extra mindful of what they wear from a very young age; in fact, around 1 in 3 have changed how they dress, and 28% of them reported avoiding places they used to socialize at. The fear is so evident that 24% said they had either completely stopped or significantly reduced how much they speak up in class to avoid abuse, and 1 in 10 have changed where they exercise (12%).
Meanwhile, reacting to Trotter's reel, @devandippenaar commented, "I love this, Tommy. One of the few privileges we should have is to feel safe when out getting fit... My favorite part of this is that Emma was courageous enough to ask for a little help. I will be more aware of these situations now." Similarly, @kwiltfitness shared, "I never run without a pocket knife because I feel unsafe running. Oh, treadmill runs." @pearson.clive wrote, "I’m very aware when I’m walking at night, and there’s a lady in front walking the same way. I’ll slow down or move over to give a wide berth so they can see me and hopefully reassure them they’re in no danger. Just having some common sense goes a long way. It’s just something I noticed in women’s body language, so I spoke to my partner about it, and she confirmed it. I think it’s something a lot of men don’t even think about, unfortunately."
You can follow Tom Trotter (@tomtrotter_) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.
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