Woman stops accepting invites after family continues to 'dump' kids on her at gatherings
'I hated being stuck with kids who were noisy, messy, demanding, and sometimes rude...' she said.
Sara (u/thelegendaryhaggis on Reddit), a woman in her 30s, absolutely hated it when parents at a family gathering left their kids with her to babysit. It all started when she was barely 14 and continued for years before she finally decided to stop going to such family gatherings. Sara shared her story in October 2023, and it has garnered over 1k upvotes so far.
Sara never loved looking after kids, but somehow she always ended up being a babysitter at almost every family gathering. "It didn't matter if I barely knew the kids or their parents; they would always find a way to dump them on me and disappear," she said. The first time it happened, Sara was a teenager, and she was chilling with her cousin and his wife, who had recently had a child. The couple finished their food, handed Sara the baby, and left, saying they were going to get some drinks. "I had never held a baby before, and I had no idea what to do with him. He was tiny and fragile, and he smelled like milk and diapers.
He started crying after a few minutes, and I panicked. I tried to rock him, to sing to him, and to make funny faces at him. Nothing worked. He just cried louder and louder, attracting the attention of everyone in the room," she recalled. Sara looked for the baby's parents but couldn't find them. She was obviously furious, but didn't speak up, so she continued babysitting kids at almost every family gathering. "The last time it happened (when I was now in my 30s) was at a party and gathering with my husband's family. I decided to take matters into my own hands," Sara recalled.
Just like always, a couple came over to Sara, and after introducing themselves, they left their baby with her. She told them that she wasn't comfortable with it, but they left their baby with Sara anyway. An hour after they left, the baby began getting very fussy. Sara lost her cool and stormed towards the bar to check on the baby's parents. "I finally spotted them, laughing and chatting with some other relatives with their glasses of wine in hand. They looked relaxed and happy, oblivious to my plight. I marched up to them and thrust the baby into their arms," she said. When the mother asked what was wrong, she yelled, saying, "You left me with your baby for an hour without asking me or telling me where you were going. You expected me to babysit him while you had fun. That's what's wrong."
The couple apologized, but nothing could convince Sara, as she just walked off from the spot. She thought she wouldn't have to ever babysit at family gatherings again, but she was wrong. "The next time I saw them, they had another baby. And they tried to do the same thing again. And so did other relatives who had kids. On multiple occasions, it became a pattern," she shared. Sara said that since she was an only child and she was childfree, people assumed she would love babysitting their kids.
"I hated being ignored and taken for granted. I hated being stuck with kids who were noisy, messy, demanding, and sometimes rude. I hated missing out on the fun and the conversations that everyone else was having," she confessed. So Sara decided to stop attending family gatherings altogether. "I stopped accepting their invitations. They didn't seem to notice or care either. They never asked me why I stopped coming. They never apologized for what they did. They never tried to make it up to me," she said. Sara added, "I love hanging out with the family outside of the party/gathering situation, and to be fair, the kids are great fun to be around as long as I’m not expected to babysit them, which I never once said I was okay with at any point."
Handling kids at parties is difficult, but that doesn't mean you literally dump them with people who aren't really comfortable babysitting them. More than formal childcare, parents depend on other family members and leave their kids with them to enjoy a stress-free evening with friends or extended family. In fact, a survey by Zoopla found that more than half (57%) of parents in the UK rely on their children’s grandparents for childcare support, mostly because it is free, and arranging for formal childcare is expensive. So it's safe to say that Sara, too, was used as a free service at almost all family gatherings.
Reacting to the post, u/raj0kayshap commented, "This happens to me so many times that I get fed up. My wife thinks it's funny. Nowadays, as soon as I'm at a party, I pick up a beer. Parents don't even approach someone who carries a glass of beer. I'm a rare drinker and mostly throw it away, but it keeps the people away." Similarly, u/no_entertainment670 said, "If they do try again, tell them, 'I charge $ 75 per kid.' And the price doubles after 30 minutes.'" u/oldhumansoul suggested, "Keep your hands in your pockets or clasped behind your back, and drink like a fish. Also, tell stories about how ridiculously irresponsible you act. Ask stupid and unsafe questions about what the kids are allowed to do when in your care. Trust me. I have never changed a diaper, and I never will."
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