Woman stands up for herself after being treated as a second mother to her siblings

Being an older sibling often brings a sense of responsibility, which can be healthy—until it becomes overwhelming. While it's natural to want to care for younger siblings, it's important to remember that it should never feel like an obligation. A Reddit user, u/throwraaobvrsns, shared how she snapped after being treated more like a second mom than a sibling. "My parents divorced when I was 6, and both moved on. My mom remarried, had two kids, then divorced again," she explained. "My dad has a daughter with his current girlfriend. We're a big blended family and get along pretty well," she added. She loves her siblings and often helps out, especially during family gatherings.

She talks about the time when they were all at a family gathering. "I ended up watching all the kids. I didn’t mind much until after dinner. I sat down with a brownie sundae when my little sister (one of my mom’s kids) asked for a bite. I gave her some but then she kept asking for more and I ended up giving her most of it," she writes. This is when her fiancé asks the girl to leave her big sister some ice cream. Her father who was present there quickly said, "You should realize an older sister is like a second mother and that won’t change even when she has her own kids." This was the response that really hurt her feelings. "That hurt a little. I had really wanted that dessert but I gave it up for my sister anyway. And hearing my dad basically say that I’ll always be expected to take care of everyone even when I have my own baby just hurt," she writes. "My fiancé tried to brush it off and went to see if there was still some left but my parents got defensive and started listing all the things an older sister should/expected to do," the mom-to-be adds.

She eventually snapped, telling her parents that they treated her more like a helper than a daughter. "I immediately regretted it and apologized but my mom grabbed my sister and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night," she writes before adding that her dad has also stopped taking her calls. "I’m worried I messed up my relationship with my parents and siblings. Did I overreact or how do I fix this?" she concludes. 

So far the post has gotten more than 460 comments and the comment section unanimously backed her decision to directly tell them what she really felt. "You didn't overreact. Clearly, they pushed you one step too far," writes @New_Combination2430. "Why would you apologize to your parents when you're not in the wrong? It just makes them more entitled. It's time to build your boundaries and start saying no to their requests. Remember this, no one can make you feel inferior if you don’t consent to it," writes @ConfidentCelesty.

Others shared anecdotes from their own lives to help the woman make sound decisions, "My aunt at one point took a couple years away from her parents. It helped reset their relationship and helped them see her as an independent adult. It was a lot to go through for all of them, but in the end, it helped. That may be something you might want to consider. Especially with a baby of your own on the way," wrote @JollyJeanGiant83. Many people in the comment section also asked her to now focus on her new family, "Focus on your baby and your new family. You don`t even have to go to family events if you rather stay at home when the baby comes. They can come to visit you on your terms. Besides, if you have a baby to care for, you have a ”legit” reason not to do anything else," writes @Dull_Weakness1658.