Her actions were rooted in a mother's instinct to ensure her daughter's well-being and assert her own self-respect.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on August 23, 2023. It has since been updated.
Blended families offer a great opportunity for individuals to explore something new about other cultures and lifestyles. Though it is an exciting opportunity for the kids involved, parents often feel a bit distressed that in this setup, their children might suffer and as a result, not be prioritized. According to Good Therapy, the failure of blended families can hurt children resulting in conflicting emotions. Therefore, parents must look after their children in such setups and prioritize their comfort. It is exactly what u/143-but-never-again was doing when she refused to put her foot down when her daughter was being forced to leave her single room. However, now it is impacting her relationship as she feels it might have been a step too far. It led her to come to a subreddit thread to get some suggestions regarding her ordeal.
The mother begins the post by providing context regarding the whole situation. Both she and her partner had children from previous relationships before getting together. They recently got married and she moved in with her children in her partner's home. At present, she is pregnant with her now-husband's child. They live in a huge house that allows all children to have their own space and rooms. It enables them to get used to this new setup in their own comfort.
The whole issue started when her sister-in-law moved in with them. It was a decision the woman was not consulted about, which her husband just threw on her. Moreover, it was not something she expected as her in-laws have a large home and if her sister-in-law had to move, she expected that would be her preferred place. However, since it was her partner's home, she did not interfere. However, the red flag moment arose when her daughter was told to leave her room.
The household had four children, two girls and two boys. The girls were told to move in with their brother. The rooms occupied by the girls were distributed among the aunt and her children. Her daughter requested that the niece stay with her so that she did not have to leave the room, but the request was outright denied by the husband. It pushed the woman on edge as she was not only left out of discussions, but also her daughters were feeling neglected. She packed her daughter's stuff, shifted her to the couch and began the process of moving out.
As a mother, she did not want to entertain disrespect for her daughter and herself in the household. She wanted to make it known to her daughter that her comfort will never be avoided by her mother, no matter what. Her husband thinks that she is pushing things too far. As they have a baby on the way, she wants to be sure that she is not throwing away her relationship for something inconsequential and therefore asked the opinion of others.
The comment section supported her for standing up for her daughter. u/JeepersCreepers74 believes that the father is at fault in the situation, "NTA. As you said, you're a blended family of 6 and he's acting like a family of 1. He's paying more deference to his sister and her kids than his new wife. You are doing the right thing by taking a stand and showing him this will not be tolerated." u/shihtzu_lover23 points out how this is unfair to the father's kids as well, "Not only that: he is paying more deference to his sister and her kids than even his own kids. It's sad when the stepmom who has been in the kids' life for only five years, cares more than the dad. No wonder his previous marriage failed."