Men and women have always been held at different standards and this video just sheds light onto this issue.
Men and women have always led fundamentally different lives. From physiology and psychology to emotions and intellect, everything is positively different. Similarly, a working mom of four, Paige (who goes on TikTok by @sheisapaigeturner) spoke about why she never takes advice from men and the reason will surely open your eyes. The caption of her video states she doesn't take advice from men, not even the most successful ones. She finds the common thread in men's stories to be the fact that they had a woman in their lives supporting them. And that when the men don't acknowledge it, their advice has little context or relatability to her because women don't generally have the same privilege of having a man unconditionally support them.
In her video, she reiterated her stance of not taking advice from men in any form, be it books, interviews or podcasts before she moves on to explain why. She says, "I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt because I do not think it applies to women and mothers in particular." She tells her viewers about when she was listening to the Diary of a CEO of Casey Neistat and realized a few things. Before getting into the details, she stated she didn't know much about Casey because while she heard about him, she didn't follow him.
With this limited knowledge, she was listening to his podcast with Stephen Bartlett. She said, "It was really interesting, but I was hung up on the fact that they talk a lot about how he became a father at a very young age." The thing that got her attention was that while he was only 15, he had his first child and later broke up with his baby mama when he was about 17 to 18 years old. He then moved from Connecticut to New York because he was determined to make it big.
She states, "He talks about how that journey required him to be fearless, to have risk, you know, to be able to, willing to have risk." She added how he had to persevere, be patient and be willing to do the gritty stuff like sleep on someone's couch, love in a halfway house, or share a room with 10 other people to succeed. She also mentioned how he was willing to grind it out and do everything he needed to do to be successful. However, she couldn't understand one thing. She said how during his story, all she kept wondering about was: "Where's your kid?" Because none of these things would be possible with a child to take care of.
She elaborates how one cannot possibly sleep on someone else's couch or be out working till 4 am with a two-year-old baby. She said, "You can't live in a halfway house like that with a two-year-old baby because he claims he bribed his way into it like you don't do that with a two-year-old and he's talking about how he doesn't have money for a taxi or anything like that."
While Casey is talking about his struggles, he nowhere mentions the kid who is not with him anymore, which means that the kid is with his mom. When Casey was out conquering the world, it was his baby mama providing parenting and emotional as well as financial support for their kid. "She's probably doing 90% of the work, paying for 90% of the things, and raising him essentially on her own," she says. Paige also says there's nothing she can say about Casey being a bad dad because he doesn't talk about it. She explains how she wants to know the aftermath because if it were a mother, explaining the story, that woman would mention everything right from how she paid for child care to where they lived and who supported them.
In this case, a woman, or a mother, would provide the whole story of how she came to be, the good, the bad, and the worse. And she'd do it because those things were critical to her success. However, these things weren't vital to Casey because he had his baby mama. She says, "Men have women. That is the biggest lesson I've learned when they tell us any kind of advice about how they became successful." Whoever said that behind every successful man is a woman was onto something right. Paige also further talks about how Casey's baby mama wouldn't have been able to do everything he did because there's a meager chance of him being able to do what she did for him. And on the off chance, if she did pull it off, she would be frowned upon.
She says, "And that's the difference. He is held up on this pedestal for doing this work and for becoming successful and doing it the hard way. But if she were to do the same thing. She would be called a bad mother who put her career before her kid." She concludes by saying how advice from men doesn't apply to today's society because the way men can do things or are allowed to do so without judgment from society isn't the same as women, all because men and women are still, in the 21st century, held at a different standard. @mrscheesebeard said, "The entire time I was reading Atomic Habits, I was thinking how none of it was possible for primary caregivers."
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