Woman shares 'what it looks like being married to a competent' man and it's an eye-opener

It is surprising—and, of course, sad—that even today, a man helping his wife with household chores is seen and celebrated as something extraordinary. Despite all discussions about equality, many are still restricted to outdated and stereotypical gender roles, where women are expected to bear the brunt of household responsibilities. When a husband pitches in, it is treated like a rare and praiseworthy act. This societal truth was highlighted when Abby Eckel—who goes by @abbyeckel on TikTok—shared: "What it looks like being married to a competent and capable man who cares."

Eckel began by sharing how, when she came home the previous night, she found the entire house cleaned by her husband. "Our Bath & Body Works candles that he ordered had come in, had been lit," she said, showing glimpses of the Christmas decorations set up by her husband all on his own. Reflecting on her husband's dedication to fatherhood, Eckel added, "And he had gone and got new Christmas stuff for our boys and put it out after he cleaned it." She emphasized that none of these actions were requested: "I did not make him a list of things to do. I did not leave it out for him. I did not request that any of this be done."

Eckel highlighted that men participating in household duties should be seen as completely normal, describing her husband as a "competent and capable adult" who takes pride in caring for their home and equally shares the responsibility of raising a family. "He takes pride in our home. He loves to make the holidays magical for the kids," she added in her caption. The eye-opening video received an overwhelming response on social media, amassing nearly 10 million views. Reacting to the video, @kjbugg wrote, "I feel like he’s not just capable... he feels comfortable and confident enough to be able to do these things without criticism from his wife. He knows she won't come home and reclean or redecorate." Similarly, @shoelover99 added, "Yep! When spouses are a team, leads to less stress on one or the other making more happiness! People have got to understand how much better it can be to have a partner that wants to."

Meanwhile, @theinbetweenwtf shared, "Someone who has a passion for the life he has chosen and is invested in his home and family, the people most important to him and their experiences, is the most attractive thing a man can be." On the other hand, @seth.life said, "I have done this for the last 15 years. The response now is 'Why did you move my stuff? You think you are better than me?' If this video was from my wife with this kind of compliment… I would be over the moon." @foxxycodone chimed in, "I have been ill for days. My boyfriend has done laundry, given me meds, fed me all meals, set up the projector so I can have TV, charged my switch and made me soup from scratch despite hating soup." @divine_sync1 noted, "And I bet you multiply all of his efforts right back to him! That’s how it’s supposed to be. We do things out of love without expecting anything in return and watch it come flooding back to you!"

You can follow Abby Eckel (@abbyeckel) on TikTok for more relationship content.