The author and bride-to-be gave a fair warning that these are only for the guests the couple is unsure about.
Planning a wedding comes with countless details to manage, and it’s often stressful—especially when it comes to deciding who to invite. The guest list can quickly spiral out of control, and no one wants to hurt feelings by leaving someone out. But author and bride-to-be Toni Tone, known as @t0nit0ne on X, has a simple solution to help trim the list without the guilt.
"I need to trim my wedding guest list and I was told to ask myself these questions," the post began. "Have you had a lengthy conversation in the past six months? Do they invite you to personal events? Do you know their last name? How would you feel if you weren’t invited to their wedding?" Tone shared. "Sharing this for anyone who is planning a personal event and struggling with finalizing their list," she added. She even had some advice on how people can pick their bridesmaids and groomsmen. "Also, when it came to choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen, we narrowed down to our closest confidants in day-to-day life, and then asked ourselves, 'Would we trust them to give us sound advice about marriage?'"
However, she clarified, "These aren't questions I'm asking about every potential guest. These are questions for people you are already on the fence about. For example, I have aunties/uncles I've not had lengthy convos with in a while, but there's no way I can imagine them not being there on the day." The post received nearly 5 million views and over 102k likes. People took to the comments to appreciate the suggestions and to share their own experiences.
@DrOhBe wrote, "When we were wedding planning, I overheard my now-hubby on the phone with a childhood friend. His friend said, 'How’s your fiancee doing? What’s her name again?' That person was removed from the draft of our invitation list. We dated 3.5 years before our engagement. If folks didn’t know us *as a couple,* they weren’t invited." @flowzki commented, "'Do you know their last name' is arguable though, some of us have been called nicknames all our lives and it has nothing to do with family or friends... everyone calls us that one nickname." The woman replied, "I think this is a man thing because my fiancé doesn’t know the surnames of a lot of people he’s friends with either - based on your logic. So, he’s not asking himself that question. That question was for me because I knew the surnames of almost every single person on my list."
Do they invite you to personal events is a good one!
— FreeLiving1288 (@living1288) September 25, 2024
It’s all about celebrating with those who matter most 😊
— Jaivardhan Singh Tomar (@jaitomar_review) September 25, 2024
@arrtnem remarked, "That is some real-life strategy-level stuff. It’s not just about numbers—it’s about making sure you’re surrounded by people who genuinely matter on one of the biggest days of your life. Those questions you were told to ask? Pure gold. But here’s the thing: you’ve gotta be ruthless about this because if you’re not, you’ll end up with a room full of people you barely know instead of the people who actually celebrate your happiness. Let’s be real—if you haven’t had a meaningful conversation with someone in the past six months, why are they getting a seat at the table? Your wedding isn’t some high school reunion or networking event. It’s a space for the people who are there for you, who have supported you through thick and thin."
I need to trim my wedding guest list and I was told to ask myself these questions: Have you had a lengthy conversation in the past 6 months? / Do they invite you to personal events? / Do you know their last name? / How would you feel if you weren’t invited to their wedding?
— TONI TONE (@t0nit0ne) September 25, 2024