It can be pretty hard to be around someone and comfort them when they're suffering. The tips shared by Stephanie aid in making the situation better.
One of the frequent dilemmas people find themselves in is not knowing what to do or how to comfort their loved ones when they are grieving. When someone is down, it becomes difficult to even be there with them, let alone know what to say. Stephanie Harrison, a founder and author who goes by @stephaniehson on Instagram, promotes philosophical concepts and she has shared a noteworthy solution. Her video talks about what one can do to comfort someone who is going through a tough time and it’s worth a shot. “Today, I’m going to teach you a skill,” Harrison said. “How to be there for someone,” she added. The woman mentioned that knowing how to be there for someone should be taught during childhood.
Harrison mentioned that due to the situation’s awkwardness, people end up hurting others instead of comforting them when they are struggling. It may not be intentional, but during a fragile time, wrong words or actions can result negatively. Sharing a common example of how people do this, Harrison said, “You don’t bring up what people are going through because you don’t want to remind them or you treat their pain like it’s a problem to solve, which ends up leaving them ashamed.” Another common way one messes up while trying to comfort another is by trying to cheer them up in ways that lead them to believe that their emotions and feelings don’t matter.
“When someone is suffering, your job is not to fix it. Your job is to be there with them, in it,” Harrison highlighted. She shared an acronym L.O.V.E., which she coined to help understand how to comfort others. “L: Look at them. Give them your full attention,” Harrison said. She stressed the need not to shy away or ignore their suffering. “O: Open up to their pain. Show them you really want to understand what they’re going through,” Harrison added.
She also mentioned that one can do the same by asking questions like, “How are you feeling?” “Will you tell me more about how this is for you?” “V: Validate their emotions,” Harrison emphasized the need to relay what one says during their time of suffering to make them understand that they’re heard and understood. Sharing an example, she said, “What you’re facing is so hard, anyone would struggle with it.”
“E: Express your love. Finally, tell them that you care about them,” Harrison said. She highlighted the same can be expressed in multiple ways. “I see how hard you’re trying,” “I believe in you” and “You are not alone. We will figure this out together” were some of the examples. In her caption, Harrison added to what she explained. She said, “You have the power to help someone get through a painful time. All it takes is your presence. You don’t have to solve their problem, say the perfect thing, or somehow find a way to eliminate their challenges. You just need to be there with them.” People found her tips very useful. @bicycletrailerstudioartgallery said, “Thank you for telling me this. Yes, I was not taught this. Much appreciated.” @isabel.cheung said, “It's hard to know what to do in these situations, but this is so helpful!”
View this post on Instagram