A woman refuses to pay for a wedding she has been invited to despite sharing a decade-long friendship with the bride.
Weddings are supposed to be a day where two individuals celebrate their love. However, nowadays, this celebration has become more of a headache. The cost of everything has quadrupled, leaving couples struggling to arrange for a perfect day. Even an average wedding with a limited guest list racks up $30,000 in costs, per The Knot. The situation has become so dire that couples have begun taking up unconventional ways to get married. Some have decided to forego the event altogether and settled on a court marriage, while others have found unique ways to control the expense. u/theluckyone95 recently came across one of these "unique" ways due to her friend. Even though it is a great way to bring down the costs, the woman felt disrespected by it.
The woman begins the post by getting straight to the point. She wrote, "One of my closest friends is getting married and is charging her guests to attend the wedding." It did not shock her as her friend has always been stingy with her money. The woman's issue is with the hypocrisy of it all. She doesn't understand why she should pay to attend an event that she has been invited to by the hosts. The woman added, "This is really not the norm in the country I live in, although it seems like 90s kids like me have started to charge for their weddings more and more, which is just embarrassing."
The couple has given people three options to RSVP. These options include: "1. I will attend the wedding (envelope fee: 65 dollars). 2. I will only attend the ceremony. 3. I will not be able to attend." Moreover, the couple has also not been transparent about the money. They have not mentioned where exactly they would invest the money given to them for the wedding. On checking out their website, the woman understood that the money would probably go into paying for "decorations."
The woman further informed how the couple had planned the event in a way that every step would require money from the guests. She explained, "The evening before the wedding, they also have a dinner, which you need to pay for (don't remember the price, but cheaper than attending the wedding). If you want to sleep over at the venue, you need to pay around 100 dollars (I'm not in the US, so the conversion is not entirely accurate). This applies both for the night between the pre-dinner and wedding day and the night after the wedding. So that would be 200 dollars in total." The woman did not feel offended by these demands, as no one was being forced to sleep or attend dinner.
The couple was also not foregoing gifts. They have created a page through which people can give money to the couple or choose one option amongst "cooking class, dance class, a trip, etc." Even though they have mentioned that "gifts are not needed, but welcome," in the country where the woman lives, culture dictates that people maintain politeness. She understands very well that due to this politeness, she is going to get a lot of gifts.
Being a close friend to the bride, the woman knows well that this money will not go into the wedding. She believes the bride will put it into the renovation of her new home, which adds another layer of deceit to this. Keeping everything in mind, she has decided not to go to the wedding. Even though this decision would emotionally hurt her, she ended her post with, "It's just unfortunate because we've been friends for 12 years and it's sad to only be able to attend the ceremony because I absolutely refuse to pay." In the updates, the woman revealed that despite receiving criticism, the couple are not changing their stand. Due to some betrayal on the bride's end, the woman is sure than ever not to attend and will choose option 3 on RSVP.
The comment section commended the woman's decision. u/Adventurous-Cry-2157 gave the woman a suggestion and wrote, "Ask her if you can not pay, but still come to the reception if you bring your own dinner and promise not to look at any of the decorations. That should be fair, right? This is so beyond tacky and tasteless. I hope she gets roasted for it." u/graphixgurl747 had some choice words for the bride and commented, "I would send my regrets and my congratulations and that's it. The bride is out of her freaking mind."