Woman shares an ingenious way to not be the toxic and annoying mother-in-law

Many households are notorious for having a toxic mother-in-law who does everything in her might to disrupt their children's marriage. These mothers-in-law might be dealing with some issues of their own which are not addressed often. Why do they need to spread toxicity in their own family? Janelle Marie (@millennialmatleave) on TikTok made a video to address this topic and has seemingly found an answer to the question.

"The key to being a non-toxic mother-in-law is locked somewhere within filling your own cup. Fill your damn cup," Marie begins. "Something outside of your children that makes you feel good, makes you feel fulfilled, makes you feel happy, nurturing friendships, nurturing relationships and nurturing your marriage. I, unfortunately, feel like a number of the mothers-in-law who are finding themselves really confused about this role of mother-in-law are dissatisfied in the role as mother-in-law."

She mentions how these mothers act desperate and come off as controlling. They also guilt trip their children into accepting their opinions or decisions. Marie mentions that these women often do not have a life outside their relationship within the family and their role as mothers. "So when their kids grow up, they're ill-equipped to replace that relationship with other things. When their kid goes on to be married and starts to live their own life or in a serious relationship," Marie adds. "That's all easier said than done but I definitely think it's something we need to be aware of." Many women in the comment section could relate to a lot of things Marie mentioned in her video and they came forward to share their lives with in-laws in the comment section.

@mantic_insanity quipped, "I'm a step-mum so sometimes I feel like an in-law and try and stay in my lane and just support (but it has paid off and was first to find out about grandbaby. Just saying." @pinknike0629 commented, "Mine has always put her boyfriends ahead of my fiancé. Does it with us now including her grandson? But every few months she will try to come back in and that’s when you’d think she doesn’t have anything." @jk052906 wrote, "Oh my god, yes. My MIL adored my husband and me but she also always had an identity outside of being a mom. My own mom never, ever worked/volunteered, had friends, etc even after my sister and I were grown." 

@fired_mom remarked, "Very very true and good advice. The best video on the topic that you’ve done yet. I realized this was definitely my situation. I even reshared it. I do think single moms suffer from not having their own life beyond their kids because that was all they did, raise them alone." @claudiabfer shared, "I want to get divorced because of my MIL (husband does not defend me), but the thought of his family raising my son half the time and all the things she will say about me to him scare me so much!" @mamabear3sons added, "Perfect advice!! I noticed I started getting too involved/emotional/bothered by my son’s relationship and immediately looked in the mirror! Poured that energy into my marriage, friends and hobbies!"

You can follow Janelle Marie (@millennialmatleave) on TikTok for more videos on life advice and lifestyle.