Alexis Kristiana shares the boundaries new mothers must put up around themselves and their babies for a comfortable holiday.
Holiday meetups are already exacting and added to that, the stress of being a new mother makes it a completely different ballgame. The worst scenario is being surrounded by people who refuse to understand their boundaries. People with new babies must be given certain considerations as common courtesy. Alexis Kristiana, a motherhood influencer–who goes on Instagram as @alexiskristiana–talks about "baby boundaries" in her new video. She explains why it is essential for mothers to prioritize themselves and their babies with these boundaries. These suggestions touch on crucial aspects like body shaming and health dangers.
The first suggestion Kristiana hands out is that "baby won't be passed around, we're not playing hot potato with a new baby or an infant. We're just not doing it." It is a common practice for people to take the baby in their arms in any event. The mother is against it. The baby is in a new environment and it would be better if they are with people they know. It will give them a sense of safety and not mess with their senses.
She followed it up with a privacy tip. The mother added, "We're not sharing photos without permission. I think this is like the strangest thing ever, like if the parent hasn't even announced that they maybe had a newborn." The parents come with a lot of trust, which should be respected by everyone present at the party.
The third boundary is fundamental as it has a direct impact on the health of babies. She says, "We're not kissing babies this holiday season." The immune system of the babies is developing and 'kissing' is an action that could bring them infections that they are unable to fight. Next, don't give unsolicited advice. She shares, "Keep your advice inside to yourself unless we actually ask for it. We don't want to hear it. Keep it to yourself." Then, she asks guests to be "understanding if we need to leave early, like let's not have a major freak out if we have to leave to meet the needs of our family because that's what comes first." The guests must understand that it can't be like before because now they have a baby, which must come first.
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The mother then says, "We're feeding our baby wherever and whenever we need to. We're not hiding in the closets and we're not hiding in our cars. We're feeding right there next to you." There is nothing shameful about breastfeeding and mothers should not be forced to hide out. It is essential that mothers feel comfortable in the get-together and not shamed.
Lastly, she warns people not to comment on new mother's bodies. They have gone through a transforming experience and deserve grace, not criticism. She adds, "We're being patient. We're giving grace. We're not expecting us to be the same that we were last year or two years before because now we have these babies and these kids." Kristiana ends by wishing all the new mothers happiness this holiday season. She asks them to be confident and set these boundaries to stand up for themselves and their families.
The comments section expressed gratitude towards her for these suggestions. @pocketsizelindz shared their own experience and wrote, "We're having our third next Thursday and I'm having so much anxiety about Christmas Eve/day and how that's going to look just a few days PP." @travelwithmeko commented on the need for these suggestions, "We needed this! Hope this helps a new parent during the holidays!"
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