A woman having a child or not is no one else's prerogative except her own, irrespective of whether she gives no reason for it or 118.
Since forever, women have been told that they are meant to give birth and follow the rules that society has set for them. However, in today's day and age, women have the right to decide what to do with their bodies, especially when it comes to having babies. Ellie Gonsalves, a model and actress–who goes by @ellie_gonsalves on Instagram–posted 118 reasons on the platform explaining why she does not want kids.
In a carousel post, she mentioned 118 reasons why she doesn't want kids, along with an extensive essay. She begins by writing that many of her loved ones asked her to rethink if she wanted to post this list online. She chose to do so because she believes this is something not usually spoken about or supported enough. She elaborates that as someone who's been in a relationship for almost 15 years, she has constantly thought about whether she wants kids.
She wrote, "I have had this question for almost that entire time and it's probably the most frequent one I get. Sometimes, I can answer it and those asking it are respectful and understand that they are my opinions and views. I can probably count those experiences on one hand." In other instances, people ask questions without knowing her situation and making her a "bad person" eventually.
She explains that she has no problem with people having different opinions or saying so. Her issue lies with their tone despite their lack of knowledge about her life. She elaborates by saying, "I get it. I understand that's how that person feels, but I don't need to accept it and I certainly don't need to accept the pressure that comes along with a loaded question coming from someone who is living a different life to me by either wanting children, having children or who has children."
She asks, "What's wrong with having differing opinions that aren't hurtful or hateful? What's wrong with me feeling like I know myself better than someone asking a question that is life-altering not just for me but for the consciousness I would be bringing into this world?" She clarifies that she has no opinions on whether having kids is the correct thing to do. All she is saying is that it is subjective. For her, having kids isn't the right choice.
She also elaborates, saying that she's always been happy for people who wish to have kids, are about to have kids, or already have kids. Her opinions about having children are only for herself. She ends her write-up by saying that she stands by everyone with opinions different as well as the same as hers because she respects the journey that every person went on, which leads them to the conclusion they believe in. She believes that it is nothing but cruel to have someone feel a little less just because they have an opinion they do not share or agree with. That's the cycle she wishes to break.
The comment section was divided between people who got her point of view and those who blatantly disagreed. @simbabonnie disagreed with her, saying, "Having children makes you selfless. All your thoughts are on this tiny person you bought into this world. The love is amazing. From the moment I saw my son, I knew I would protect him no matter what. I believe that having a child has made me a better person. PS: Half of your reasons are ridiculous!"
@carla_mti, dropped some truth bombs and said, "I'd rather see a person be real and openly say they do not want children than seeing people having kids without actually wanting them and not being able to provide for them and give them the proper love and care they need. This is actually responsible for her not having kids if she doesn't feel like having some. I totally support this, as well as I support all the responsible people having babies and treating them right."
@spry_sammy, said, "I'm a mother of one boy, also hoping to have another child someday. I read your list and it made me smile and laugh a lot because so much of it is spot on!! Motherhood is beautiful and amazing, and yet it is also all of those things you listed. I wish more people thought as hard as you did before they decided to bring humans into the world. We'd probably have a lot fewer children being traumatized but unfit parents."
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