Woman seeks advice after discovering her in-laws tried to sabotage her marriage over a bet

It's not uncommon for people to experience tension with their in-laws. According to Psychology Today, three out of four married couples report having heated arguments with their in-laws. However, one family took the feud to another level by refusing to acknowledge their new daughter-in-law as part of the family. In a Reddit post by u/faxxed on r/relationshipadvice, the 26-year-old woman shared how her husband's family kept referring to her as his "best friend" instead of his wife.

"My Husband Robbie (26 M) and I (26 F) got married earlier this year. It was a beautiful day and I felt so much love and support from both sides of our family," she wrote. She went on to share that two months after the wedding, everyone gathered at her in-laws' house to celebrate her birthday. "It was nothing major, just a dinner and a night together with me, my husband, his mom (50sF), dad (50sM), and sister(22F)," she added.

It all started that night when her sister-in-law received a call from a close friend. "When she answered the phone and her friend asked what she was doing, she replied that it was her 'brother's best friend's birthday.' I had never heard anyone refer to me as Robbie's best friend," she explained, emphasizing that she was his wife and noting that they had been engaged for over two years before getting married.

When she asked her sister-in-law why she was referring to her as "best friend," the woman simply replied that she used the term because their mom and dad do. "My SIL and I are by no means very close, but we are nice to each other and have never had any fights. We just don't hang out outside of family functions because our personalities are pretty different. She's never made it seem like she was annoyed or mad at me," the bewildered daughter-in-law clarified. 

The woman decided to let it go even though it "weirded" her out. However, it didn't stop there. "My MIL and I both work in the same industry doing similar jobs, but at different companies in the area. Sometimes our companies collaborate when we have clients who switch over. This week we had that happen, and I had to pay a visit to my MIL's office to help a client transition. My MIL was in the office, so I stopped by to say hello. While I was there she introduced me to her colleague, and once again I was perplexed by how she did it. She said, 'This is my son's best friend!'" she wrote. 

While shaking hands with the colleague, the woman paused and clarified that she was his wife. "The colleague looked confused but my MIL continued to smile and didn't address it. Once we were alone I asked my MIL why she referred to me like that. Just like my SIL she didn't seem to act like it was weird at all, and said the same thing, 'Well you are best friends!'" the post revealed.

She explained that the only possible trigger for this could have been her wedding vows. "In my vows to Robbie, I promised to continue being his best friend. Nobody acted like this was odd or special, and I feel like it's a pretty common thing to put in vows," she wrote. She added that even her husband was "perplexed" by the situation and privately asked his parents about it, only to receive the same answer they had given her. She shared that this behavior often felt like bullying, leaving her genuinely confused about what to do.

Many took to the comments and gave advice on how to fix the situation. One of the comments by u/Purple_Bishop2 reads, "How about just being straightforward - 'yes, Robbie and I are best friends, but now that we are married I would prefer that you refer to me as his wife as I treasure our relationship, thank you.'" u/Dazzling-Produce7285 commented, "Grab MIL hand, heave a big, wry, sigh 'Yes MIL, but remember that big party we had? Your son looked very handsome in black, I was in white, the whole family was there, we had cake and danced. You remember, don’t you? That’s called a WEDDING, we are HUSBAND and WIFE.' Pronounce capitalized words very slowly and clearly and pat MIL’s hand tenderly to punctuate sentences as needed." u/Assiqtaq added, "Or just add 'and his wife!' at the end in a chipper and cheerful voice. Then if questioned OOP, you can just say, 'I'm his best friend and his wife, and proud to be both!'"

In an update, she shared how things worsened when she and her husband were invited to his parents' home for dinner. On that day, the couple discovered that the family had actually placed a bet on their relationship regarding how long their marriage would last. The father-in-law bet that they would stay together, while the mother-in-law bet on less than one year, and the sister-in-law bet on less than six months. "Apparently, there was a cash prize involved. I don't really want to know how much it was," she wrote. "FIL admitted that he believes the whole 'best friend' moniker was a way to get under my skin and cause doubts about my relationship with Robbie and his family."

Many took to this post and talked about how messed up it was to treat one's son's marriage like this. "While the way they're treating you is abhorrent and not something I would do to a stranger or even someone I dislike, it's a whole nother level of messed up to try to sabotage their son's/brother's marriage on purpose. What kind of monster actively tries to wreck their family member's life to win a bet? Gross," read one comment by u/Myaseline, while u/peakerforlife wrote, "This. Family therapy only works if everybody wants it to work. They don't want to have a good relationship with OP, or for their marriage to succeed, so it won't work. Let your husband take the lead on this one, OP."