Woman rethinks relationship after finding warning note from boyfriend's ex about his red flags

It's always heartwarming to see women supporting one another. Recently, a 28-year-old Reddit user, u/ThrowRA-ex-note, shared an experience where her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend looked out for her in a surprising way. After two years with her boyfriend, "Steve," and eight months of living together, she missed some major red flags. Thanks to his ex, though, she finally saw Steve for who he truly was—leading her to rethink their relationship.

While cleaning their apartment, the girlfriend found a note from Steve’s ex hidden at the back of a cabinet. It read, "Dear Steve's future girlfriend, I know it's you reading this because he'd never clean back here. I'm putting this here because I'm leaving him soon and want to warn you about him," the note read. Warning the future girlfriend, the ex, who was referred to as Natalia, added, "He will not clean, he will not listen and will make everything feel like it's your fault. It's not your fault. He's just an incompetent man. I'm leaving him. I suggest you do the same." The girlfriend immediately confronted her 30-year-old boyfriend about the note, but he ripped it up and said that his ex was "crazy," "untrustworthy" and "manipulative."

The argument escalated, and the 28-year-old left to stay at a friend’s house for the night. While she cared for Steve, his lack of cleanliness had always bothered her. When they began living together, the cleaning responsibilities were shared 50/50, which gradually turned to 70/30. Steve, in turn, was frustrated that she "took a note over their 2-year relationship" and tried to badmouth Natalia. The girlfriend was also worried that Steve didn't take accountability but instead found fault with her just like Natalia mentioned in the note. "I don't know what to do or what to believe right now," the girlfriend worried. "He thinks I'm letting the note have 'confirmation bias,' so no matter what he says, I'll think he's in the wrong," she added. 

The internet quickly sided with Natalia, pointing out Steve’s red flags. "Kinda sounds like everything she warned you about in the note came true. He had never cleaned there, he didn't listen to your concerns and he turned it back around on you and somehow made it your fault," said u/gem1n-eye. "You've been dating his representative, not the real person. Now that you live together, the mask is starting to slip," remarked u/ProtoPrimeX1. "You've been living together for less than a year and you're already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks," added u/Arya_kidding_me. 

After receiving plenty of warnings and advice, the girlfriend returned home to discuss Steve’s messy habits. "When I apologized for confronting him with the note, he seemed to take that as an admission of guilt and refused to listen to anything else," the woman pointed out. Also, when she stated instances where he didn't clean, he called her "manipulative" too. Eventually, the girlfriend realized it was a dead end with Steve and broke off the relationship. Surprisingly, she was later contacted by Natalia, who wanted to see if she was doing fine. It turns out that Steve called Natalia to tell her that she was ruining his life. "I thanked her (Natalia) for leaving me the note and saving me time," the 28-year-old added.