Actions speak louder than words and words without action have little to no worth whatsoever. This story explains this sentiment.
Getting hurt by people in a relationship is inevitable. At some point in your relationship with absolutely anybody, they will somehow end up hurting you. The only thing for you to decide at that point is whether you can live with their hurtful words or actions. The story of a dilemma posted on Reddit by u/rj59382ta highlights this and is going viral on the platform. The 25-year-old woman asked netizens for their opinions on the matter.
The woman started her post by saying that she's trying to understand a situation and would love people's input while using a throwaway account because she doesn't wish to reveal her identity. The woman shared that she is in a stable and happy relationship with her 26-year-old fiancé, D, who has a platonic, childhood female best friend, S, who's the same age as his fiancée. She and her boyfriend were friends for a few months during freshman year before they started dating. Now, S also attended the same college as this couple, and eventually, the woman became friends with S.
She said, "I always trusted D, so I never had a problem with their friendship. I have platonic male friends that I still keep in close contact with, so having an issue with it would be hypocritical in my eyes." She added, "I even developed a friendship with S over the years of us knowing each other, so getting to understand her on a personal level has also made me feel more secure in their closeness."
Last summer, the woman got engaged to D. She revealed that D's family goes on vacation during spring break every year. However, it is reserved exclusively for family and close friends. That is why she was never a part of it. While she didn't love that and yearned to go on these vacations, she understood and was finally excited to go this time around since she was officially a to-be family member.
Exhibiting her excitement, she said, "So... you can probably imagine how excited I was thinking that perhaps I could tag along this year to spend some time getting to know his family much better and getting to spend some extra time with him that isn't the apartment or city we live in." One night, D came home and casually mentioned that his family had decided to go to an East Coast beach for their spring vacation. She naturally thought this was D's way of segueing into inviting her for the trip, but her dreams were about to come crashing down.
She said, "Rather, though, he mentioned that this year he was bringing S along to his family vacation. I think he could see the confusion and devastation on my face because he immediately started to say that he wanted to bring me, but his family has known S for much longer than they know me and that they love her, so they don't mind paying for her to go on vacation with them." Now, S did have a hard year because of her grandfather's demise and D has always been very loving toward all his friends. However, the fact that her fiancé was taking another woman on his family trip didn't sit well with the woman.
She said, "I was genuinely so shocked and so hurt that I excused myself to the bedroom, locked the door, and sobbed my eyes out." The next morning, D told her the trip wouldn't be as fun and that he'd take her for a weekend trip sometime in the spring. She says, "I have never been able to attend one of them before, and finally just when I think I'm about to be included, I'm just... not. The vacation will be a week long, and I'm already starting to feel insecure that he has picked another woman to go on a tropical family vacation with."
She was starting to feel insecure and considered checking the messages between D and S but refrained. She wishes to talk to D about this but is worried that she'll come off as clingy or jealous. So, she was confused and turned to the internet, which collectively supported her and encouraged her to talk to D.
u/AdrenalineAnxiety said, "Oh hell no. This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. You are his fiancee. You are part of the FAMILY. If his family does not accept you, then that is a problem he needs to address, not just switch you out for someone they like more. How are they going to get to know you if you're not invited to things that would help them get to know you?! If he wanted to invite both of you because she's had a hard time, then fine. She can come along as a family friend. But you should not be excluded. By saying you are not invited to a family vacation, but she is, he is being very clear that you are not family, she is. You are not his family. I couldn't continue knowing that."