Texas woman divorced her high school sweetheart after an accident erased his memory — then made an impossible request of her new husband

Kris Armstrong (@followmetothemouse) was 16, and Brandon Smith was 15 when they first met. They found love, and on August 12, 2006, when both were 21, the high-school sweethearts tied the knot, never expecting what their destinies had planned for their future. In 2010, Armstrong took the hardest decision of her life; she divorced Smith because Smith was no longer capable of loving her after a brutal car accident. Today, Armstrong and her current husband, James Armstrong, are legal guardians and round-the-clock caregivers for Smith. Armstrong shared the story in a series of TikTok videos.

A tragedy that changed her life

On November 5, 2008, Kris was driving between her two jobs when she got a call that her former husband, Smith, had been T-boned by a moving truck, according to a 2024 report by CBS News. “It was like living in a nightmare,” Kris described to PEOPLE. “There would be a moment when I would wake up in the morning and forget, then it would all come back.”

10-second-long memory

By the time she arrived at the hospital, Smith had been put into a coma. "We didn't know when — or if — he would wake up and what would happen," said Kris. Two months later, when he woke up, doctors diagnosed him with post-traumatic amnesia. He needed constant care, including for the most basic tasks like eating, toileting, dressing, and even communicating. He also had memory issues, and his memory was like 10 seconds long. “This is when it really became clear that I went from being a wife to a caregiver," Kris told CBS.

She didn’t want to abandon Smith, but she also wanted to have the family she once dreamed of having with him. After two years of grieving, in 2010, she decided to move on. She divorced him and became his legal guardian.

The hardest decision

Armstrong visited Smith daily, took him to appointments, took care of financial issues, and managed all his health care. Then, in 2014, she met James online and immediately told him about Smith. “She was honest from the start,” James recalled to PEOPLE. “It was either accept or don’t accept."

Without skipping a beat, James agreed. “I thought it was an absolutely beautiful story and I was okay being part of that story,” he said on TikTok, and added, "It intrigued me more because I knew that Kris had a good heart."

A second chance

On September 5, 2015, the two got married and had two daughters a few years later. They also had a son from James’ previous relationship. While Kris took vows of loving her stepson, James promised to love Smith as his own brother. “James and his son brought life back into my days and breathed air into my life,” Kris said in one of her videos.

A 'loss' full of confusion

According to a TEDx talk by Nicole Reidy, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, this type of grief is called “ambiguous loss.” It happens when a loved one or family member is physically present but psychologically absent due to conditions like dementia or a traumatic brain injury, as in Smith’s case. In the U.S. alone, an estimated 5.3 million people live with permanent, debilitating traumatic brain injury, which directly affects a partner, parent, or child.

A study published in the Journal of Family Nursing documents how millions of family members are left navigating unresolved, disenfranchised, and ambiguous grief. In such cases, according to Reidy, what a person needs the most is a psychological family, which is different from a biological family, something that the Armstrongs are already doing for Smith. 

Love is still the same

Armstrong’s children love him as their “Uncle Brandon.” They love to snuggle with him on the couch. On Wednesdays, they bring lunch for him and have picnics outside. They help him eat and drink. “He’s our family member. He’s like one of our kids. We love him the same,” James described. Armstrong and Smith started their story as high-school sweethearts, but today their relationship is different. Nevertheless, love is still the same. “I will always carry his heart in my heart,” Kris expressed.

You can follow Kris Armstrong (@followmetothemouse) on TikTok to stay updated about her family.

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