A woman's choice to not let her boyfriend 'pretend' to pay for dinner sparks a lively debate on modern relationship etiquette.
In the modern world, it's essential for men to recognize that it's okay to let women pay when going out to eat. Gone are the days when such backward practices of making men pay were present. Today, partners either split the bill or take turns paying them, ensuring equality. Reddit user u/throwawayfreedinner shared her story of how her boyfriend was upset with her for paying a bill at dinner. The post has amassed a large audience on the site, receiving 8.1K upvotes and 4.5K comments.
The 24-year-old woman shares that she had been dating 26-year-old Ben for eight months. She says, "For context, Ben and I are from different income brackets, and Ben has expressed that he sometimes feels a little bit weird about this because he is a gentleman at heart, but he says it's hard to treat me since I'm not really impressed by his gestures." The woman, however, repeatedly told him that she did not care much for these things, but it still kept coming up.
One night, she and Ben attended dinner with six of her friends. The group comprised in total of three men and five women. Toward the end of the outing, the two men in the group volunteered to pay the bill, as they were the ones who generally did. She writes, "Ben quietly said to me that he wasn't really comfortable with the guys paying for his dinner, so I said I'd chip in with the bill." Ben was grateful but insisted that he pay and that the woman could pay him back later.
The woman says, "This struck me as totally absurd because firstly, it's an unnecessary step, second even split the cost was something I wasn't sure he would realistically be able to cover, and third I felt like he was trying to enter a pissing contest with my friends which was just childish." So, she said no to his offer and paid the bill, which made Ben very upset and resulted in him "sulking."
Ben accused the woman of "emasculating" him and making him "look bad" in front of her friends. She explains, "I think he's overdramatizing it because my friends couldn't care less and he needs to get over himself." People agreed with the woman's decision and voiced their support in the comments. u/kizzespleasee3 said, "Nta! And it sounds like he didn't have the money to afford it, and he just didn't know how to tell you. Super weird."
u/74Magick shared, "NTA. I dated a guy like this and he would get so mad that I didn't let the servers think he was paying. I told him to man up and get himself a decent job and he could pay all he wants, but that I wasn't putting on a front to make him look better." u/Saphaira2603 said, "NTA. But is he much for grand gestures and expecting you to be so grateful for everything he does/buys you? Sounds really exhausting if he expects you to be impressed or wants to impress you."