The woman refuses to extend any courtesy to her estranged sister who refused to show her any empathy or kindness when she was going through a traumatic experience.
Family business is always a bit complicated. Working with close relatives always comes with its share of pros and cons. There is more competition and, in return, more hurt. The situation becomes more toxic when the other person is unempathetic. u/Used_Guidance723 faced this first-hand when her sister, Amy, backstabbed her and took away a well-deserved promotion. The worst part was that they did all of that while she was going through a miscarriage. During such a time, instead of supporting her, they prioritized their own selfish interests. Though the woman has mended her relationship with her mother who also played a small part in this, she refuses to do so with her sister, especially considering her attitude. It has caused a bit of trouble with her family.
The 34-year-old woman began the post by giving a bit of background to the whole predicament. She wrote, "One of my jobs is running a family business with siblings/mom and the other is at a hospital. My sister gave herself a raise/promotion behind everyone's back. Then abruptly quit her other job the next day." Everyone opposed this move, as it was a family setup and such a move warranted a proper discussion. During an emergency meeting, Amy apologized and agreed to a group decision. The woman added, "I had the option of getting that raise/promotion, we were thinking of flipping a coin or discussing more to figure it out."
Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage and went into depression. As she was coping with the loss of her pregnancy, she received a message from Amy, saying, "I need to make a decision now if I'm interested in 'taking her job.'" The woman asked for some time to consider the circumstances and asked her to wait for a group decision. A week later, she got a message from her mom informing her that the promotion had been given to Amy. It hurt her immensely as she was backstabbed by two people who should have supported her in such difficult times. They took advantage of her vulnerability. She decided to break off all kinds of relationships with both of them.
The mother felt bad and tried to make amends. After many attempts, the woman proposed therapy to navigate the situation. It helped and they are now on talking terms. She offered a few changes in the business, to which the mother agreed. She wrote, "We hired a mediator to establish new policies so things like this don't happen again. One of the policies was a bereavement leave for things like miscarriages." Amy did not agree to them but was outbid by the majority. To this date, she has not apologized for her actions, which has made the woman more determined to cut off that relationship.
Even though she is fine with this equation, her mother and brother are not. Her brother got angry at her for leaving Amy out of her 10-person birthday breakfast. Now, they are all preparing for a Christmas celebration and they want her to invite Amy. She doesn't want to and Amy herself has made it clear with her message that she would not come. The woman does not want to extend any courtesy but is being forced by her family. However, she does feel sad that in the midst of all of this, her 3-year-old niece is losing out on the opportunity to celebrate Christmas with her uncle and aunts.
The woman came on Reddit to get a third-party view on whether she was right on her part. People in the comment section supported her. u/Old_Cheek1076 wrote about the mother's change in attitude, "Sounds like all it took was a smile from her granddaughter for your mom to throw the work she had done on your relationship in the trash. NTA."
u/SatelliteBeach123 commented on how the expectation of the family is wrong, "NTA. Why is it always on the person who was harmed by the actions of another to extend the olive branch? Your sister created the drama and the family problems, yet you're the one expected to 'get over it.' Sounds like yet again, Amy just wants to create drama by announcing she's not coming for Christmas. That's on her. You never said she couldn't be there. If your mom and brother want her there, then they can 'encourage' her - not you."