Her office and boyfriend called her ‘petty’ for skipping a $50 coworker gift — the internet disagrees

An employee (u/agitated-result-4553) refused to contribute money for a coworker's retirement gift. She said that Linda, the coworker, was always mean to her; in fact, she often commented on the author's age and qualifications and treated her as if she were "incompetent" for the job. When she informed the manager about her decision, she was mocked for being petty; other coworkers even left notes on her desk asking the author to let go of the grudge. However, she decided not to celebrate Linda, who had made her work life terrible. The woman shared the post on Reddit on February 9.

Linda, 63, was retiring after 40 years of service, and the company wanted to gift her a fancy watch as a parting gift. HR had announced $50 from every employee, which the author wasn't very comfortable with. She said Linda was terrible to her from the beginning and often made insensitive and rude comments about her. "When the collection envelope came around, I passed without contributing," the woman confessed. The manager thought she had forgotten to chip in and called her aside. And when she told her that she wouldn't contribute, the manager looked shocked and said she was being petty. "I said it's not a grudge; it's choosing not to financially celebrate someone who made my work life miserable," she said. The manager then informed other colleagues, who left notes on her desk saying, "Be the bigger person." The company asked her again to reconsider her decision, but she stood her ground. "My boyfriend thinks I should just contribute to avoid drama, but I genuinely don't want to give money to someone who's been mean to me for years," the woman wrote.

Almost all American hiring managers (94%) said their companies frequently host celebrations, and 64% reported employees regularly give gifts to coworkers. Behind cheerful celebrations lies a dangerous sense of obligation that people worry about, according to PR Newswire. They found that nearly half feel obligated or pressured to give gifts to coworkers — especially for birthdays, work anniversaries, or holidays. Moreover, 46% said they feel pressured to spend a specific amount on gifts for colleagues, adding additional financial strain. The same study found that 68% believe the tradition of exchanging expensive gifts leads to favoritism in the work environment. 

Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit story, u/smaugthehedgehog commented, "I would go straight to HR. This sounds potentially like a form of harassment/coercion/hostile work environment, because they are spreading the news to your colleagues, and people are now leaving you notes. The manager calling you petty is crazy, unprofessional, and in most states is considered workplace bullying/harassment. Document everything — every look, every interaction, everything — and go to HR." Similarly, u/otherwise-leg-5806 shared, "NTJ. I did the same when my former boss retired. Passed me up four times for a promotion. Admin sent a group text asking for $45 each. I flat-out told her I don’t like him, so I’m not contributing. Who do these people think they are, telling you how to feel and what to do with your money?"

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