Woman refuses to attend sister's wedding after discovering how she deceived her parents

A family is willing to help each other through thick and thin. However, it seems that sometimes there is one family member who oversteps another's boundaries in the family dynamic. This can even make family members feel as though they are not being treated fairly. A woman, known as u/One_Change4503 from London, went through something similar when her younger sister lied to her and her parents while borrowing money for her wedding. She was shocked when she learned the truth and decided to back out of attending her sister's wedding. She shared on Reddit what had happened and wondered if she was wrong for not wanting to attend her sister's wedding.

"So, my younger sister, Katie, 28, and her partner, Chris, 29, are getting married in April in Dubai," the woman began. "She has always wanted an extravagant wedding and is going all out on this, so the wedding is happening over four days." The bride and groom wanted their close relatives, bridesmaids, and groomsmen to stay at the same hotel as them. The wedding was going to have 70 guests in total. As the hotel where the bride and groom were staying was very high-end, the family would have to pay £2900 ($3719) per person. "Chris's family is also staying in the hotel, which includes his parents, two brothers, and his nephew," she added.

"They are well off—I don't know exactly how much they earn combined, but I know Katie is on £88k ($112,868), and she is the lower earner," the sister emphasized. "But about six months ago, Chris and Katie came to us and asked to borrow £17k ($21,804) more. They stressed it would be a loan paid over time and said the venue had increased the price. We believed them, and I offered to loan £7k ($8,978), while my parents covered the other £10k ($12,825)."

But soon enough, the woman found out that the extra money was not for the venue but to fly the groom's parents to Dubai. "They saw how much it was going to be, didn't want to pay, and refused to go. I asked Katie, and she confirmed, so my first question was, if they were paying for his parents, why not pay for ours?"

The woman thought the couple should pay for both sets of parents and didn’t want them to pay for her. "Her answer was, 'Because they can afford it.' She got very defensive and said this was the fairest way she could think of doing it—it's hard enough planning a wedding, etc." The woman asked if she thought it was fair, then wondered why she had lied in the first place. "My parents are aware and are very disappointed that she lied—but have said they're still attending—though I have backed out."

She felt that her parents were being taken advantage of. "If they couldn't afford to pay for both our parents and Chris's parents, as well as his brothers and nephew, then they should have just paid for the four parents or no one at all. And they especially shouldn't have lied about it." She added, "Katie and Chris keep calling and asking me to attend, saying I'm making them feel bad and ruining their day." The woman asked for people's opinions on the situation.

u/ConstitutionalHistory wrote, "Yet another reason why I dislike destination weddings...They're the ultimate egocentric events." u/GrandmaBaba commented, "It's unfortunate that they felt the need to have such an extravagant destination wedding when a local or closer wedding could be just as lovely. And it's hard to have fun and celebrate when a huge loan is hanging over your head." u/Normal-Reward-7257 remarked, "Wait a second. Not only are they not paying for your parents, they're having your parents pay for his. That's like a double whammy."