Woman puts foot down as husband who led family to homelessness three times sets sights on her inheritance

Managing finances responsibly is key to securing a family's future, and most couples work to save for their children's well-being. But that’s not the case with one dad. Reddit user u/throw30away2022 revealed how her husband has led their family to homelessness three times and is now eyeing her inheritance for his own needs. She began her post by explaining that her mother passed away last year, and the legal process surrounding her assets is nearly complete.

"For the past six months, my husband has been looking at a multitude of things that on a regular day, we definitely can't afford," she wrote. She added that he has not saved up for any of these expensive purchases and has instead been asking for updates on the legal process and how long it would take. "He's even asked me several times about an estimated amount. I've given him very little to no information because, at this time, things can still drastically change. With a creditor popping up and saying that money is owed, etc.," she stated. The wife went on to say that her husband was not the most responsible person with money and because of that, she has managed their finances for the last three years.

"He used to manage our finances. But he has a history of sabotaging our financial goals and blowing our budgets," the wife added. She then shared how she planned to utilize the inheritance. "My intention is to use half of my inheritance to move our family into a house. Then save 40% to help my children in the future. Like graduations, college, trips, their first cars, etc. And have a small emergency fund," she expressed. She said they couldn't do these things earlier because her husband kept giving money to his side of the family to help them with bills, groceries, legal troubles, etc. "Draining our accounts and leading our family to homelessness three separate times. I understand that if it's family, you have to try and help somehow," she shared.

"But letting your three children and wife become homeless because an adult family member couldn't be responsible enough to pay their own bills or got into legal trouble is a hard thing for me to fully understand," she expressed. She added that she didn't want to wake up one day and find out the inheritance was spent behind her back. So, she wanted to open an account in her name and followed through with the plan she mentioned. Moreover, the mom shared that whenever she'd mentioned saving or investing in the past, her husband responded that life is too short for that.

She tried making him understand that it was not about them but their children. "And his response was that when our children become adults, they should work for what they want," she shared. "That statement seems backward, considering his actions as of late. I know for sure that if his parents pass, we will have to pay off their debts and cover all of the unknown costs out of pocket," the woman said. She shared that she started her marriage with her husband debt-free and worked for years to bring him to a place where he too was debt-free. "But over the past ten years, he's paid off his parent's credit card and IRS debts. They live paycheck to paycheck and think saving money is pointless," she expressed. She concluded by saying that she was unsure if she was making the right choice, but she wanted for her children to be happy and have a stress-free childhood like hers.

u/tabbycat4 commented, "Inheritance isn't marital property. But you need to be straight up with him and tell him he isn't going to have access to it. You're going to have to have enough spine to put your foot down. If he doesn't like it, let him leave because it doesn't sound like he's contributing anything." u/murphy2345678 wrote, "Get a lawyer to help set everything up so he has no claim to the money ever. Open a separate account and don't put his name on the house deed. Also, are you in the US? Because you wouldn't have to pay off his parent's debts. It comes out of their estate and if the estate doesn't have any money, it doesn't come from family."

u/impossible-bear-8953 suggested, "But talk to a financial planner asap. They can have the inheritance funds transferred directly to them so your husband can't 'accidentally' buy a big ticket item. Any inheritance is usually the asset of the inheritor and not a marital asset." u/hamdown1 asked, "I don't understand why you're wilfully staying with a man who has taken away your family's stability three times and continues to threaten your children's safety." u/introductioncapital4 advised, "Get a trust open as soon as possible for your kids. In the event anything was to happen to you before they turn 18, they cannot legally inherit any money without a guardian/custodian. Assign the custodian as someone you trust to do right by your children."

In an update, the wife shared that she'd had found a divorce attorney, a financial advisor and a bank that's a bit out of the way. She added that she had lined up appointments to handle things privately. Moreover, she said that she would be visiting the firm that's handling her mother's estate to know her options with them. The woman also spoke about her husband's side of things. "I truly am unsure of what kind of financial ties my husband has created with his family members. That's why I said that if his parents pass, I'm sure there will be debts to pay. But I'm definitely not going to be around long enough to finance it," she clarified.